Stephen x Hosuh (angst oneshots)

~They Don't Understand~

Hosuhs pov~

As i walked into my room the silence hit me. The tide wave of emotions hit me too. I slowly walked to my body mirror. My lips formed a disgusted face. I saw all the fat on me. My black clothes were so baggy for i tried to hide my fat stomach. I walked to my bathroom exhaling in disbelief. I looked at myself. My face formed from disgust to sadness and anger.
You need to stop eating.
You'll be so skinny.
You'll be happier.
You will be skinny and everyone will like you.
You'll look better.
Your so fat.
I lifted my shirt to see my stomach. Tears bubbled up in my eyes as i saw the fat on my stomach. I shut my eyes tight letting the tears fall down my cheeks. I shook my head. I promised myself not to eat. I opened a drawer that was under the sink to find a pen. I took the lid off and wrote dne. I won't forget now.
I put the pen back in its rightful place and replaced it with a knife. I put the toilet lid down and sat on it. I pulled my pants down to my knees. I took the knife and dug it into my skin. It gave a loud snap as my skin split. I slid the metal piece across my skin causing blood to spill out.
I repeated this and smiled. They check your arms but not your legs. The words repeated in my head. Everytime the got louder. Its not like anyone would care enough to check my arms anyway. No one would check. I took the knife with blood stains and slit my wrists. The blood prickled up in dots. I wrote "ugly" and "fat" on my arm. The blood poured out. I walked over to the sink and washedmy arms. I wrapped my arms with gauze along with my legs. As i walked back in my room i lied down and looked at my phone. Stephen texted me about twelve minutes ago... Reminding me he was coming over in ten minutes!?
I sat up quickly bolting to my dresser to look good or presentable. A knock came at the door.
"Coming!" i yelled hoping he heard through the door. I raced down my stairs and swung the door open.
"Hey Hosuh!" Stephen titled his head and gave me a bright smile. My cheeks filled with blood as my heart melted looking at my crush.
"H-hey Sephen." i shyly looked at him giving him a slight smile. I moved out of the way to let him in. He walked in and shut the door for me. He looked at me concerned. Fuck. Am i suspicious? Did i say something? I fucked up.
"Hosuh?" Stephen waved his hand in my face. I blinked a few times humming in a response. I looked up at him. His eyes bright as ever. I felt my cheeks brighten.
"About yesterday... Is it true you cu-" I cut Stephen off by covering his mouth. I didnt want to tell him. They don't understand.
"You wouldn't understand." I blurted out.
"Wh- How could i not?" he questioned.
"You don't know my life." I said bluntly.
"But i can try to understand!" Stephen grabbed my hands.
"You'll think im crazy!" Tears brimming as the moments passed.
"No, Hosuh! Im here for you! I would and will listen to you all day!" Stephen tangled our fingers together. I took my hands back to cover my face as a sobbed. Im ugly when i cry.
"Hosuh, please remove you hands from over your eyes for me. I know you want to leave but please dont take your life away from me." Stephen cried and pulled me into his lap. As the warm tears stroked my face Stephen kept whispering sweet nothings to me.
He doesn't see things the same way. For example, knives. He sees them as weapons or something for food. I see them as an escape from my fears and problems.
As time passed i still was crying. Stephen had gone quiet. He is sick of you. I started hyperventilating. You good for nothing prick. I pulled on my hair as tears fell. They were right. Stephen tried to comfort me.
But He Doesn't Understand

________________________________________________
This chapter was a vent.
I feel like shit.
My depression has gotten worse. Im not looking for attention i just need this off my chest.
Im just a useless unoriginal asshole. Good-for-nothing kid.
Anyway enough of me. I hope you all are feeling okay!(ღ˘ω˘ღ)
I love you all!
Vent to me if you need to!!"ψ(｀∇')ψ
Cya next time!!
Byeeeeeee
-Oreo/Ryan