Insanity

6.

Ian stood standing in front of us smoking, smoke spilling into the already toxic air.

"He wants us to steal keys from a nurse?" Naomi said listening to what Ian was saying.

"All we need is a screamer." Ian said already having a plan forming in his mind.

"Luke." I said quickly. "He has lungs to kill." I said giving him a devious smile.

"Now we need someone to grab the keys." Ian said looking at us. "Derek." he said a large smile on his face."Okay while at dinner. Luke will start to scream. It has to be loud or this won't work." Ian said staring directly at Luke. " Forcing everyone into a frenzy. The rest of us will occupy the nurses inside while most of them head for Luke. Derek who no one will expect sneaks into the kitchen and grabs the set of keys hidden beneath the bread basket."

"All of this today." Naomi said not too sure of herself.

"Before someone else does it hell yeah. First come first serve. There is a lot of us and not much drugs I suppose." Ian said seriously.

"I think this will work. I mean if punished so be it." Chelsea said.

"I agree." I said looking at Derek.

Derek shrugged. "Why not."

--

Luke sat alone in the back of the dinning room making it harder for Nurses to get to him.

Ian sat up front close to the entrance of the kitchen along with Derek.

I sat with Naomi and Chelsea. "You think this will work?" I asked.

"Ian is pretty smart." Naomi said looking around at the nurses lining the room.

"You and Ian seem really close." I pointed out.

"Levi says he needs someone to be close with. And he chose me I guess."

"Well, you too are super close." Chelsea smiled.

"He tells you about his hallucinations and troubles he trusts yo-" I began before at ear piercing scream rang out.

Nurses scrambled towards the screaming Luke and many other patients erupted in a frenzy. I saw from the corner of my eye Derek dash towards the kitchen.

I ran to Nurse Cas who before sat quietly with another nurse. She was franticall running towards the mess when I stopped her.

"Cas. I think- I uh I think I saw Chelsea cutting. Luke and her have been talking a lot and- I'm super worried." I said trying to stall her.

"Not now Frankie I need to g-"

"No!" I yelled. "You- I lied." I said trying to form a lie. "I think I'm in trouble. I think I'm getting worse. All these crazies are messing with my mind." I said grabbing onto her arm.

A loud siren rang and all the noise became to much. I grabbed my ears trying to focus on the task at hand. Cas grabbed my hand pulling me out of the room.

She held onto me until we got to the main hallway. "You okay?" She said as people around us shuffled to their destination.

"I'm fine." I said breathing heavily.

I saw Ian walk out of the dining room giving me thumbs up proceeding down to the elevator.

"I'm going to take you back to your room okay. Do you want me to contact your therapist about what you told me earlier."

"No!" I said quickly. "I just need sleep."I said with a nod for her reassurance.

"To sleep it is." She said happily.

--

Once I got to my room Chelsea had already made it back. She sat on her bed writting on a small note pad.

"It was a success." I said smiling sitting beside her.

"Ian sure did pull it off nicely." Chelsea said not looking up from her note pad.

"What you got there?" I asked not wanting to look without permission.

"Just some small notes. My therapist, Erica told me to write down some positive things to help prevent panic attacks."

"What is it like knowing your mentally ill?" I asked, many times unable to relate.

She just gave me shrug. "What's it like being, normal ?" She asked.

"I would tell you if I knew?"

"So what are you? Bipolar, depressed, schizophrenic, anixous?" She asked.

"I'm confused." I said softly. "I wanna be happy and okay, but I know somethings bothering me. Something deeper than bullies. Something which shakes me to my core."

"What?"

"I don't know."

----

That night Chelsea and I slept in our separate beds and oddly that night I was the one unable to fall asleep.I laid in bed going from topics from my bullies to my father.

I thought of my main bully, Melissa. A skinny girl who was head cheerleader and the reason for all my problems. She made me feel so small.

So worthless.

I tried to make it seem like my bullying was just something I delt with, but all the mean words and locker shoves got to me. They effected me.

They turned a happy go lucky girl into a small spec of dust.

I wasn't insecure.

I wasn't bipolar.

I wasn't depressed.

I wasn't schizophrenic.

I was broken.