Insanity

15

I sat at the group therapy sessions Tori 's words constantly playing in my minds.

"Anything to say, Frankie?" Levi asked.

I looked up from my socks to him. "I-. What makes us different?" I asked. "Why do we always think we can bully others for their differences.  We aren't that different. We are all shits. We are all irrational demons." I said loudly.

"That's true." Levi said calmly.

"Thats bullshit. I am schizophrenic and a boy. You're a girl with some unknown mental issue." Ian said speaking up. "The only thing that makes us remotely the same is that we're human. But I'm barely human. I barely have emotions."

"The only reason we bully is because we are ignorant." Callie said.

"We only judge because we don't understand. We see someone with a lot of weight and think why? But really it's just because being skinny isn't easy." Naomi said staring at her chipped nails.

"This is a very good discussion. Next time." Levi said softly.

All these thoughts swirled in my head. I quickly left the therapy session to find Tori in the library. I went inside to see she was sitting alone reading.

"You actually read?" I asked sitting across from her.

She looked up at me with an amused face. "Before I left I had a perfect score in Language arts. I don't just read." she said with a swift eye roll looking back down.

"Maybe we should hang out more." I said not use to holding both ends of our conversations.

She laughed looking up at me. "I have better things planned." She said shutting her book walking off.

I abruptly stood up getting in front of her. "What? What did I do?"

"Look, Frankie I never meant for this.  Us. to be a thing. You helped me in the elevator I paid you back with your file. That's it." She said passing by me.

"You can't just open up and close again!" I yelled after her.

"Sorry, but you're  not my therapist and you're  not my friend."

"But I can be?" I said lowering my voice for the people surrounding us.

"I've been far better without "friends" holding me down; sorry honey but I am better without you." She said turning on her hells walking off.

"Whatever! Bet you wouldn't even know what's like to have someone that actual cares about you. You'd rather turn your back like a coward!" I yelled.

She never turned once simply walking off. I don't know why, but my brain simply wouldn't just allow her to make her exit. I needed to make things right with her.

I slowly walked back to my room where Chelsea and Naomi sat eating on her bed.

"Hey, Frank. Forgot you lived here." Chelsea laughed.

"Been busy." I mumbled laughing across my bed.

I felt my bed sink a little, so I leaned my head back to see Naomi laying beside me.

"What's on your mind sinatra?" Naomi asked softly

I shrugged not in the mood to talk about my issues. "What's it like to be in love?"

"Uh," Naomi said becoming awfully quiet.

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said shyly.

"With Ian?" I asked not wanting to push too much.

"Yeah. I guess there two ways I love him. I love him like a mother, because I want him to get better and leave here. And then I love love him so much it makes my heart ache. So I can't truly want a relationships with him, because it might change things."

I stayed silent not expecting such a sincere answer. "Does he know?" I asked.

"Maybe." She said softly. "I guess, being in love is like having your heart constantly be set on that one person."

I nodded letting silence consume the room.

I simply thought of Tori until I fell asleep.

~~

I woke up to see Tori reading inches beside me.

"Tori?" I said wondering if I was dreaming. 

She gave me a annoyed look telling me this wasn't a dream. I sat up not sure to be angry or happy.

"Decided to come back?" I said cockily.

"My roomate is an ass and I only have the key to this room." She said bluntly.

"Thanks." I said sarcastically getting off the bed. "Aren't you worried about Chelsea coming back?"

"Could ask you the same question?"

"I'm not." I said sitting beside her again looking at her book. "Is it good?"

"For its purpose yeah." she said not lifting her eyes from the white page once.

"Is the only reason you're talking to me because you felt you owed me?" I asked somewhat hurt by that.

"Is the only reason you're talking to me because you have a lesbian crush on me?" She asked bluntly never one to answer questions.

I sat not saying anything. "I hope Chelsea comes back. I'm going to go talk to people who aren't complete asses." I said needing to get over this....unrealistic crush.