break my heart | e.c

I wanna feel the pain, I wanna see the light

I wanted to heal from the pain I was putting myself through. Time after time I promised myself I would forget you, that I would erase all those feelings but I simply couldn't. I was a miserable and pathetic girl who cried over a boy and would try to remain calm by convincing herself that they would eventually break up. Can you believe that? My whole fucking happiness depended on a boy who never truly cared about me.

I wanted to get closure. I wanted to know if you actually wanted to commit this time or if it was just a pass by. All the past times I had asked you about your girlfriend's your answers was all in an "eh," tone. This time though, I was hesitant to ask you because things felt different. You felt different. Deep down, I know your tone would be distinctive from all the other girlfriend talks we have had. I knew your answer was going to hurt me but I had to ask to eventually feel better.

It was your last day with us, the tour being just around the corner. I called you over to spend time before you left and you came, late, but you showed up. The air was off, you weren't exactly the same Erick that was always at my house and I molded to that because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. We did small talk which consisted of me asking about whatever came to mind in order to cut the unknown tension.

"You really like her?" I blurted just to see a genuine reaction out of you.

"Oh Mica," You sighed, finally grinning. "I think this girl is it."

My heart began to pulse rapidly, everything in my body feeling heavy. "She's it?"

Nodding, you leaned forward and whispered; "I think I'm in love with her."

I felt everything inside me explode, more specifically my heart. I had been expecting something small perhaps an "I really like her," but that's it. I didn't think you would already feel so much in so little time. How could it be?

"Already?" I managed to muster up with a false smile.

"Look, I know it may seem like it's moving really quickly but I actually think this girl is the one."

"I'm happy to hear that," I said fumbling with my words. "But Erick... we're only eighteen."

"And some people meet the love of their life at fifteen." You said in an irritated manner. "Mica, I'm telling you, she's the one."

"The one you want forever?" I said referencing a small inside joke we had with a bitter chuckle.

You smiled, a sad one I thought but I guess it wasn't. "Yeah... the one I want forever."

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another short chapter, sorry. I really want to finish this story so I think imma focus on this one a bit more.

anywho

thank you for reading!! don't forget to comment and vote!!

Las quiero <3