So in love (Sweeran)

Anger

I began to call Ed's number with trembling fingers. What could I say? Hi Ed, well... Get back to Claire. I mean, I guess I'm in love with you. But go back to her.

What if he actually wanted her back? I shivered. I'd just ask him what happened. That's the best way.

Some seconds later, he finally answered:

"What?" He almost yelled through the phone. I jumped on the bed, startled.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, in complete shock. He seemed to be choking on the other side of the line.

"T-Taylor?" He stammered.

"Yeah, it's me" I mumbled.

"I'm sorry... There's... There's a lot going on right now. I thought it was Claire" He sighed. I wondered what Claire had done to make him act so angry. Maybe she was pretending to be the victim when she wasn't. I didn't think she was capable of doing this, though.

"What's wrong?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Nothing, Taylor" He lied.

"Ed, you know you can tell me" I insisted. "Anything."

"I know" He agreed. "I just don't wanna tell you. I don't want to... Talk about it" He explained. I sighed.

"Talking helps. Sometimes" He laughed.

"Not in this case" He said. For the first time I felt in his voice that he had been crying. It was like someone was giving me a slap right on the face, so hard that left me with no balance. I ran my hands through my hair, feeling a bit dizzy. "Why did you call me?"

Should I help Claire? Should I even tell him she called me asking for help? He didn't want to tell me what happened, but it sounded like it was very serious.

"I'll tell you when you tell me what happened" I risked. I really needed to know.

"God, Taylor! I don't wanna talk about it!" He exclaimed, startling me again with the depth of his voice.

"You know what? It's fine. Don't talk about it" I sighed, prepared to start a rant. "Just tell me why Claire called me in the middle of the night, crying hysterically, saying that you decided to break up with her, asking me to talk to you so you guys can go back together. I'm just trying to understand what happened" I said. "It's okay if you don't want to talk. I'll just call her saying you yelled at me when I tried to intervene."

"So... S-she called you" He mumbled, then laughed ironically. "Asking for help."

"Yes" I replied, a little confused with his reaction.

He laughed again.

"What?" I asked.

"That who-" He stopped himself  in the middle of the sentence. "I'm sorry."

I kept silent.

"It looks like I'll have to tell you anyway" He expired. "Your dear friend cheated on me with one of my friends."

What the...

"She doesn't know I know that. I just sent her stuff back to her house and said it was over. I don't want to discuss about this with her or any other person. She made her choice. I can't forgive that" He continued, his voice cracking in a few words. Great, it looked like he was drinking too.

"Ed..." I started.

"I know" He muttered. "Don't worry about me. I will be fine. I just need some time."

"You don't sound fine" I almost whispered.

"I will be" He said simply.

Some silent seconds passed. I knew exactly how he felt. I just wanted to be by his side to comfort him. Why this had to happen right when I was so far away from him? Right when I couldn't just take a plane to where he was?

"I wish I could be there" I muttered.

"Me too" I cringed slightly at his words. He wanted me.

But not in the same way I wanted him. Yet.