So in love (Sweeran)

I won't pressure you

After I evaded the subject at his house, Ed was a bit quiet on the way to the pub. I decided not to ask him why, because it would probably be about Claire, and I had promised myself not to pressure him into talking about her. I didn’t really know what to say. A single phrase was stuck in my throat since we left and I couldn’t put it out. A three word phrase.

All the reasons why I shouldn’t tell him roamed through my mind, echoing and beating inside it, torturing me.

You’ll lose him. You’ll lose his friendship. This amazing friendship. You’ll be careless. He’ll misunderstand everything. And then you’ll lose him.

But, like my mom had said, I couldn’t keep this inside me anymore. So, I’ll have to take the risk.

We left the car and walked into the cold, night air. I saw a pub in the middle of a small, almost empty street. Feeling a bit worried, I looked around and then I looked at Ed. His expression was normal. The fact that we were famous didn’t seem like it was going to be a problem here. That lightened my mood a little bit.

We walked into the pub, and I immediately felt better with the warm air. Ed guided me to a table and we talked for hours, forgetting about everything else. The whole night was very nice even with my troubled mood. Ed drank beer as usual, and I decided not to join him; Who knows what I’d let out if I let myself get drunk.

As expected, some people asked for photos. I saw that as an excuse to leave. It was late and I didn’t want to forget that I had decided to keep this trip as low key as possible. When we were about to go, I saw Ed grabbing the empty pint glass in front of him and starting to walk away.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused.

"What?" He looked around, also looking confused. I pointed to his hand, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed.

“I’m gonna take it” He said. I frowned.

"Why?"

"I just…" He looked at the glass, blushing, feeling unsure. "I don’t know… I like taking these home."

"Are you serious?" I let out a soft laugh.

"Yeah… It’s just a thing I do" He simply said.

I decided not to argue, trying to save his nervous, blushing expression in my mind. That was so him. The way he was nervous about it, but told me anyway… He knew I wouldn’t judge.

The atmosphere on the way back was way more relaxed. Ed was kinda drunk, so I was driving. He was telling jokes, comparing normal cats to Meredith. I just laughed the whole time, half of my attention on him, – his red face matching his hair due the amount of booze that he had consumed – half on the road.

When we got out of the car, my face was also probably red from so much laughing. He walked beside me on the sidewalk, his street was completely empty.

"So, you’re not telling me…" He teased.

"What?" I played dumb, not so giggly anymore.

"Why are you here…?" He said.

"I prefer to do that when you’re sober" I mumbled.

"I’m not drunk" He exclaimed. "I just had like… Three beers…"

“Three?”

Well. Look who managed to change the subject again.

This has to be the last time. You’re leaving tomorrow. You’ll tell him before you leave, so, in that way, he’ll have time to think. That’s a good idea.

While I was lost in my thoughts, I got distracted and didn’t hear what Ed was saying. He gave me a hopeful look, waiting. Ok, I think he asked me something.

"I’m sorry, what?"

"I forgot to clean the guest room" He said, embarrassed.

"It’s okay, I’m not sleepy yet" I said. "Are you?" He nodded.

"But I can stay awake, you know" He said. I laughed.

"No, just go to sleep. I’ll be fine, I’ll just watch some movies or Law and Order, I guess" I said.

"Okay, then" He yawned. He started to walk towards the stairs, but then stopped, turning his gaze to me again."Pub again tomorrow?"

"Hmm… I’m leaving tomorrow" I said, trying to hide the sadness behind my words.

"So soon?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I have to go to this event for songwriters…" I mumbled.

"Hmm…" He sighed, and then said something I didn’t quite expect:

"I don’t understand."

"What?" I asked, warily.

"You barely got here" He said, thinking.

"I know, I just wanted to see you to-"

He interrupted me:

“To tell me this thing you’re so afraid to tell.”

I stayed silent and still.

"I’m curious. Really curious. And I have my theories…" He said. "But I’ll try not pressure you anymore, Taylor. Just like you’re doing with me."

He gave me a tender look, yawned again, smiling, then went upstairs.