So in love (Sweeran)

Trying to forget

As time went by, my heart just quickened and, surprisingly to me, I was sweating. My hand didn’t get any better after the ice melted and my thoughts were pure confusion and hurry. I realized I had to be on the plane in twenty minutes, so I just grabbed the keys of the car I was using here - that fortunately were on the table - and left the house with a sigh. It was a fast decision I would probably regret in the future, but I had to do it. All the waiting was making me feel even worst, the pain tearing the insides of my head more and more at each passing second. Even with all the sleep I got before, I felt exhausted.

In the car, I drove away from the house, leaving there all the hopes I had for a future with someone I couldn’t have.

A month later

"Taylor, we have to go" My mom warned as I put on my beige shoes.

It was the Grammy’s night. I was nervous and excited at the same time, my legs trembling a bit. I was trying to ignore the hope that was all over my thoughts. I hated it. If I lost, this feeling would crash down and take me with it.

Another thought I was trying to avoid, was that I would see Ed today, after a month and a bit of almost no talking. At first, he was kinda angry at me for leaving without telling him, but then, when I texted him explaining everything, he understood. Apparently, he and Claire went back together and things couldn’t be nicer for them. I was better. I was trying to move on, little by little, with baby steps.

I still could have hope, but I knew it could destroy me. And I couldn’t bear being destroyed once again. After that I saw that, I was willing to move on if I could still have my friend. And that would be enough to me. It’d have to be.

"Taylor" I heard the voice of the person I was trying not to think about as I was heading to make some interviews. When I finally looked at him, I felt awfully good. I realized how I missed him. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders while I had to bend down a little, laughing. Being taller than him was never a big deal for me; I was taller than most people.

"I missed you" He said in my ear. I hated how good his words made me feel.

His friendship is the priority. It’s the most important thing. Don’t forget it, I thought to myself.

But how could I be friends with someone that made me melt like this?

I didn’t reply but he didn’t seem to realize that as he said:

“I have to go, and I’m sure you have too” He laughed. “See ya inside!” I sighed as he left.

Oh, dear God. I have to act less suspicious.

I seemed to forget he was behind me when the show started, Brittany always talking to me, then dancing, then coming back to keeping my attention on her or on whoever was on stage. When I felt a hand slightly touching my left shoulder.

"Hey" His warm masculine voice echoed in my head.

"Hey" I said, after I turned to face him. "We haven’t talked in a while" I said some seconds later, trying to sound a little mad with that fact, but still using a playful tone, like a normal friend would do.

"I was starting to think you were avoiding me" He said, his eyebrown raised.

"R-really?" I stuttered. "Why?"

"I don’t know" He simply said. I could feel the lie in his words. "I need- I need to talk to you."

"We’re talking" I said.

"Not here. Not now" I just nodded, turning back slowly to face the stage.

Good. Like I wasn’t nervous enough.