So in love (Sweeran)

The truth

After he left, I just sat on his couch, trying to focus. He said he had theories. That was bad, I guessed. No, that was terrifying. He was probably thinking it would be something very different from reality, and I would end up with red eyes, another song about unrequited love, and no friend. Honestly, I didn’t care about the first two. The one that really worried me, the only thing that stopped me from saying it a moment ago, was the possibility of losing him.

I didn’t know exactly when I fell on sleep, but I realized I did when I suddenly woke up with the door bell. I sighed, rubbing my eyes, then looked down at my hands. They were black now due the mascara I was wearing since last night. Great.

The doorbell rang again, startling me. I looked at the stairs waiting for Ed. Nothing. Maybe I should answer it, and then call him.

After the third doorbell ring, I got up from the couch with another sigh. I almost tripped over my own feet before opening the door, supporting my whole weight against the wall with one hand, causing a sharp pain in it. I examined my injured hand, the pain was the only thing I could process as I opened the door with my good hand.

I suddenly the pain was nothing when my eyes landed on the person standing on the doorsteps.

"Taylor? What are you doing here?" Claire asked, eyeing me from head to toe.

"Hmm… I-I ask you the same" I said. It was like I was a fugitive from law, and Claire was a cop… I didn’t know why I felt this way, when she didn’t even know I had feelings for Ed.

Well, she suspected.

"I need to talk to him… I need to… Explain everything. Where is he?” She said, craning her head to see behind me. I closed the door with my good hand, then went closer to her.

“What do you think you’re doing?" My voice was almost a growl, but as loud as a whisper.

"You don’t know the whole story" She gave me a pleadingly look. "He doesn’t, either. So, please, let me explain."

I looked away from her face, trying to think.

"Please, Taylor" She mumbled.

"Tell me first" I demanded. I couldn’t just let her in, with Ed still hurt. If she was lying, it would only make things worse. But if she was being honest…

I cleared my throat, pushing the thought aside.

"Can I came in, then?" She asked. If I wasn’t dressed with the same clothes from yesterday, I’d be freezing to death like her. I was a little used to the cold, with all the traveling, but Claire clearly wasn’t.

I looked back at the door, considering her request. Ed would probably hear us if we got in. So, I said:

“Let’s go to your car” Clarie sighed.

When we walked into her car, she kept silent for a few seconds and I just waited.

“Do you… D-do you remember Scott?”

"Which one? I have a lot of Scotts in my life" I mumbled.

"The Scott I dated before you introduced me to Ed" She said.

"That annoying drummer?" I asked, she smiled.

"Yes, that one" She took a deep breath. "He worked with Ed in one of his gigs in america. They became friends; The type of friends that just meet for a drink."

"I didn’t know that." I muttered, a little upset with myself for not knowing. I couldn’t see how this could arise in a conversation between me and Ed, but still. I knew that Ed was a very friendly person, but I just couldn’t see he being friends with his girlfriend’s ex. Especially that dickhead.

"I know." She said. "In the beginning I didn’t know they were friends, either. But then we went out one night, and Scott was there. He pretended he didn’t know me… And I… I just didn’t know what to do, so I did the same."

"Why?"

"I don’t know! After a while I just couldn’t tell him anymore… I couldn’t tell Ed that I dated him, or even that I knew him before. He’d be upset" I gave her a disapproving look. "Look, Taylor, I thought it wouldn’t be a problem."

She sighed. “I don’t know how it happened, but Ed saw a old picture of me and Scott… And I guess he thought I cheated on him.”

"Is this for real?" I whispered, feeling bad for her, and starting to feel bad for… Well, me.

"Yes."

"S-so…You think Scott sent him the picture or…?" I mumbled, extremely nervous.

"I don’t know. I’m gonna ask him… Well… If he lets me" She said, looking down to her hands.

We were silent for a while after that. I didn’t know what else to ask, I barely knew how to process everything. And looking at Claire’s face now, remembering that I believed she had done such a horrible thing only made ​​me feel worse. I was a terrible person. While I was planning on being with her boyfriend, she was suffering, without knowing exactly what was going on, without knowing why he left her. Then suffering knowing that everything was caused by a really silly thing.

I didn’t deserve Ed. I was so selfish.

"Your hand…" She said, after some time.

I looked at my hand, going back to focusing on the pain. I looked at her again and realized that she was holding back tears. I shook my head, and hugged her with both arms.

"I’m so sorry" I said as she cried on my shoulder. "I’m so sorry.”