BABY // Billie Eilish

Ch. 1

The muffled sounds of Call Out My Name by The Weeknd fill my ears as I stand in the tiny bathroom gazing at my reflection. My vision is all blurry leaving me unable to make out my own face. I don't know what I took. No, I don't know what she gave me. Whatever it was feels ten times stronger mixed with alcohol.

I've been left alone at parties before so this isn't new. I don't know exactly how our relationship got to this point, but I can clearly remember when it happened. This is her thing now, parties and drugs. It used to be movies, date nights, and road trips.

I blame myself though. I always wanted her to be happy and follow her dreams. I could never say no to her, not even an hour ago when I was tangled in someone's satin sheets with her and some stranger.

I could catch something, hell we both could. Lately she's been too willing to put my life in danger to satisfy her needs. I'm stupid enough to blindly follow. She is no doubt the devil. Fame made her this way. She loves the attention, being showered in free gifts and always hearing yes.

I grip the counter and close my eyes trying to count backwards from ten. It's wearing off, I know it is. I should probably make myself throw up. I need to be a little more sober before I get into an Uber so I don't end up in a worse situation than I'm already in.

Splashing water on my face, I take a few deep breaths. All of a sudden I feel it. I gag and stumble over to the toilet letting my legs give out. I would normally be disgusted by sitting on the floor hovered over a filthy toilet, but I can barely keep my thoughts together.

I release the contents of my stomach and tears roll down my cheeks. Betrayal, anger, and sadness all rolled up into one is what I feel. I knew she was cheating on me. I could smell it on her, not to mention all the times I saw the scratches and hickeys. I tried to get over it, but when she stood in my face as I begged her to help me understand what was happening to us, and told me I wasn't satisfying her needs I could have snapped in two. That broke me.

I was constantly bending over backwards for her and it was never enough. She wanted a threesome and threw a tantrum like a toddler when I said I would never do that. I was wrong. A month later with the help of a few pills and vodka I let her cheat on me while I watched. That's basically all it was because the girl she chose got more attention than I did.

Now I'm here vomiting in the bathroom of yet another party while she is probably still laid up in that random bedroom feeling triumphant.

Finally feeling ok enough to get up, I rinse my mouth out with water and exit the bathroom. The music gets loud again and I groan. My head hurts already. I pull out my phone and request an Uber as I try to keep my balance. I walk down the dark hall and my eyes find the bedroom where I lost my dignity. The door is open and the bed is empty meaning she's probably back downstairs living it up.

Fuck her.

It's easier said than done at this point. When I finally get outside the cold air hits me and I realize I don't have my jacket. I roll my eyes remembering it was a gift from her. Practically everything I have on is from her. Tomorrow I'll burn it all. I don't need it or her.

My Uber arrives and I climb in trying to stay awake and aware of my surroundings. Ten minutes later I'm stumbling through the door of my apartment and collapse on the couch. My eyes shut and I'm instantly in a deep sleep.

.....

My eyes slowly peel open as the sun shines through the floor to ceiling windows in the overpriced luxury apartment. I sit up wincing in pain and grab my neck. I must have slept wrong.

I'm still fully dressed and I smell disgusting. Memories from last night start to come back to me and my chest gets tight.

She's not home and I know this because it's too quiet. I hurriedly go to the master bathroom and shower. Once I'm done I throw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. I pull out my suitcase and start packing only the things I bought myself. I want to be long gone by the time she comes home.

As I'm packing the last of my things I hear the front door open and close.

"Fuck," I mumble. Closing my suitcase I place it on the hardwood floor and pull up the handle. I quickly zip up my duffle bag and grab my things from the nightstand.

"Where are you going," she says from behind me.

I slowly turn to face her and she looks well rested. No sign of the all nighter she just pulled. "I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore."

She chuckles coldly and glares. "You're leaving? You've got to be kidding me. Are you that upset about last night?"

I'm baffled at the fact she would ask me that. Didn't I seem upset last night? Did she not see my face and how it held a disgusted look the entire time?

"Of course I am Billie. You drugged me and guilted me into a threesome. Why the hell would I be anything but furious?"

"I didn't force you to do anything. You took the pills and got drunk. You can't blame that on me. You're a grown woman."

I roll my eyes. "That's classic. You always get me to do things and then try to wash your hands clean after the fact. You're pathetic."

"Or maybe you just need to realize you like this shit just as much as I do. You try to act all sweet and innocent, but you never say no."

"Because I love you," I scream. "Damn it Billie can't you see that I'm only doing things to make you happy. I hate this. I hate the stupid apartment and all the stupid gifts. I hate the fame and I'm really starting to hate you."

She looks taken back by my last words. I almost start to think she's hurt until a smirk appears on her face. "Fine. Get out. If you're that miserable then leave."

Grabbing my stuff I try to push past her, but she grabs my arm tightly stopping me. "Don't try to come back either. I'm done putting up with your shit."

I snatch away from her and storm out. This moment was long overdue and I feel relieved once I'm out. I take the elevator to the parking garage and load my stuff into my car. I have no idea where I'm going and it doesn't matter. I'm free from the woman I was once madly in love with and I was going to completely change my life.

First chapter down! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think! 🧐