The Adventures of Britknee Bicht: a HASS Travelogue

Chapter 4 - The Shawakening

I woke up on the fourth day of my holiday feeling super good, and put my long brown hair with blonde highlights into a messy bun. I had a feeling in my blood that today was going to be a fantastic day. I slipped on my diamond Gucci slides and made myself breakfast in my little hotel kitchen using the pancake mix I bought from the supermarket and put like a bottle of maple syrup on them bc why not? I'm in Canada after all. I leave the hotel at 11:09:43:06 am and drive to the Air Canada Centre. I was excited and yet a little nervous to watch such a classic Canadian sport although really I was only going for the Snapchat as sport is super boring. Obviously, being the basic white girl I am, I had my lunch in Starbucks making sure to post it on my insta story and hashtagging it queen. I then went to the centre to watch the Hockey Game. It turns out that my good feeling was correct because as i entered the hockey place, I bumped into a certain brown haired male. Unfortunately I was still carrying my scoulding cup of hazelnut hot chocolate from #starbucks and it fell all over my brand new hockey jersey which cost me more money than it should have. However, I wasn't mad, I mean I was but just a little bit, because I had just touched the one and only Shawn Mendes. My mind raced with extravagant fantasies where we get Lost In Japan together. I hoped the feeling i was feeling was Mutual. He apologised and offered to buy me a new jumper, an offer which I took up because wyn wouldn't I accept a gift from the real life Shawn. However as i was waiting in the merch line my skin felt like fire and it felt like my skin was melting off the bone. I wasn't worried but apparently according to Shawn it was like -5 degrees, even though it's spring time. I'm assuming it was cold bc ice but idk i'm not a science teacher. Anyway, he thought it would be a good idea for me to go to the hospital which obviously i argued against, although in reality it was a great idea because when i got there it turns out my burns were super bad and my skin was in fact melting off. I was a little mad because i had payed $400 for those tickets from an overpriced resale website and here shawn mendes was practically murdering me. I had to stay in the hospital overnight, which was actually really fun because they gave me a bunch of pain killers that made me super high. Shawn was being all apologetic and honestly it got super annoying after like the first 50 like mate shut up i don't care as long as the drugs are being pumped into my veins and I have my phone. I wasn't really that mad until he went out and bought himself a chocolate chip cookie but not me! I'm the one who nearly DIED! Who does he think he is? The only reason we listen to his music is because he's cute! I started causing a scene and so the nurse drugged me with a sedative and i can't remember what happened next.