The Adventures of Britknee Bicht: a HASS Travelogue

Chapter 11 - The Swift

I was going to spend the night in the hospital with harry but the hospital reminded me too much if my first love shawn and so i left to go back to patrick, the hotter of my boyfriends (Especially when one didn't have a nose and commited mass genocide #effyouvoldy) He took me to his brother's girlfriend, who just so happens to be my one and only true love Taylor Swift what a babe gotta love her. She was really upset about her ex's nose job but also disgusted that she had written an entire number 1 album about voldemort because #liberal #imwithher. I also met patricks brother, Joe, AKA the gorgeous man taylor wrote gorgeous about. He was pretty lit. I would consider myself more gorgeous than him but I guess no one's written a song about me so hurry up boys. The house was very luxurious and I found myself slipping a few expensive things into my pockets, including a silver spoon, a cup with Taylor's lipstick on it, a Grammy, and a tissue joe alwyn blew his nose on. These would all sell very well on eBay. Obviously I would keep the grammy but would file her name off and carve mine on with a stick. I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to win myself a grammy! Taylor complimented my phone case and i told her about how I got it ( I raided a merch store with a gun but it's ok because it wasn't real. Or well I thought it wasn't until I shot someone and they died #whoops) she didn't find this very funny but I don't know why because it's a HILARIOUS story everyone else agreed. She needs to buy herself a sense of humour. Joe was also a bit mad about the shooting mainly because he was the guy I shot. See it wasn't exactly a merch place I raided so much as Taylor's house and I stole the case off of her phone while it was in her hands. Turns out having different coloured highlights isn't that much of a disguise. They then kicked me out of their house which is #rude because I invited myself here so only I can kick myself out it's the rules. Not sure where Patrick went. He disappeared. What a shame. I really like him (and tbh he's more gorgeous than his brother)