The Adventures of Britknee Bicht: a HASS Travelogue

Chapter 12 - The Arms

I woke up the next day back at my hotel. I wasn't sure exactly how I got back here but at least i did because i don't do dirt and the ground is super dirty here so sleeping on the streets is a huge no-no for me. Shawns arms were still hanging upon my window frame and i flicked them with my finger. They wriggled and i screamed. It was gross. I tried to pry his hands from the frame but they wouldn't budge. His hands were permanently stuck there. I ignored it and left the building, still wearing my hot pink Hello Kitty pyjama shirt and tinkerbell pyjama pants. Also my bunny slippers. My long brown hair with orange highlight was pulled into a messy bun. I decided that rather than chase down Patrick or Harry i would take a #selfcare day and get #mindful. I went to a lovely little spa on the edge of 6th street and i swear to god they were scummy as heck. I think it might have been a shop front for a money laundering service or maybe a meth lab. Either way, I had massage because it was expensive and that means its good. I lay down on the weirdly oily massage table and waited for the masseuse. I couldn't see the man's body but i instantly recognised him from his little toe. Shawn. My first love. I didn't have time to lift my head from the hole in the table as i stood up, bringing the whole thing with me. I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around him and tears fell from my face onto his shoeless feet. I asked why he wasn't wearing shoes and he told me that it hurt too much because they reminded him so dearly of me. Our lips touched and the store exploded into fireworks. That's wasn't a metaphor, the meth lab had exploded and we were suffocating in the colourful fumes. And that's the story of how i became addicted to Meth. Welcome to my strange addiction. It just so happened that Patrick Alwyn and Harry Styles were outside the store when the explosion happened and they both came running in, dressed in full knight armour. The three boys argued over me for a whole hour before they realised that actually i was dying from the gas and so they each grabbed a limb and pulled me from the building. Patrick grabbed my right big toe, Harry my left ring finger, and shawn was holding my #1,936,428 strand of hair. As soon as we got out the building the three started arguing again so i left because damn boys are boring af. I grabbed myself a cake ( a whole cake not one of those pathetic little slices i'm not cheap) from a cake shop and started to eat it. It was chocolate with a hint of sand. My favourite. I took my cake back to the hotel and finished it while watching the news broadcast the fight between the three men. #whataday