The Adventures of Britknee Bicht: a HASS Travelogue

Chapter 14 - The Love Hexagon

Ok so I wasn't dead unfortunately and now i'm back in hospital for like the 12th time this trip. Everyone was crowded round my bed and honestly that made me want to die even more because now all of the boys I was in love with were sitting round my bed. They were all arguing with the doctor over who was my spouse and i tried to remind them that actually none of them were my spouse but i couldn't because Bill was sitting behind my lips trying to escape. I imagine it looks like that scene in finding nemo when they are in the whale's mouth. God. what a good movie. I knew which boy i wanted though. Patrick. He was definitely the least problematic of the trio and he wasn't some sort of weird crazy hybrid or evil villain with some dodgy prejudice. I motioned for someone to pass me an empty glass of water where i then spit Bob out. He shook his fist angrily but i just placed him on my bedside table and laughed. What's he gonna do? Fight me? He can't even BREATHE outside water!!!! Anyways i then turned to Patrick and took his hands in mine. "Babe." i said, quoting sugarland ft Taylor Swift's song called 'babe'. I was going to continue when he took his hands out of mine, with this weird look on his face i can only describe as disgust even though it can't be disgust. He was looking at me!!! "I'm sorry but i love Harry." I screamed. Loudly. Who does he think he is???? I mean???? I'm me????? Harry however was dying with laughter. "Funny joke m8 but i never got over Taylor #Haylor4life" Taylor then vomited out the window. "Me??? Date Harry???? Who's actually??? Voldemort??? Never!!!!! I'm Married to Joe!!!!! #Toe4life" Joe then looked at taylor, with a sad face and said "Soz Tay, but Shawnie-boy is the one 4 me! #Jawn4life" Shawn started crying and knelt by my bedside. He was like "Britknee, will you marry me?" and I was like " I mean yes but i don't want weird lizard children. Besides while you guys were doing that weird little love hexagon, me and bill decided to join the russian mafia. L8r dudes." and then I scooped up bill's glass and jumped from the window. In conclusion, I am in love with patrick, whos in love with harry, who is in love taylor whos in love with joe who in love with shawn whos in love with me who just left to join the mafia OH MY GOD DRAMAMA! The end.