The Adventures of Britknee Bicht: a HASS Travelogue

Chapter 5 - The Contracky-dak

I woke up the next day still slightly delirious from the drugs and found Shawn Mendes in the chair beside my bed so obviously i thought i was hallucinating and threw my gucci slides at him. Bad idea for he was real and now ever so slightly bleeding from his nose. Luckily he felt super guilty about burning me that he wasn't even mad. I can barely remember anything tbh. Honestly my burn has healed completely and i was now just in shock of him being real. It felt like a dream. At like 9:00 Shawn's manager Andrew came in to my room. He wa a 40-something year old straight white dude and he looked really mean. I didn't care, the drugs made my brain lots uddels and the words not come out mouth brain good. Anyway he sat next to me and was like "Yo Gurl, the paps think yall are dating and so were gonna getcha to sign a couple of contract-daks and set yo right up with my main man, Shawn Mendes" I was all like holy crickets, hell yeah, of course i'll fake date this dude i met yesterday and accidentally got me admitted into hospital, what was I going to do? Say no? (It helped that i would be payed $60, 000,000 every day) So I signed all the hundreds of NDA papers because i love Shawn and got released from hospital, however we had to leave out the back door because we were causing a massive internet storm and the paps were everywhere. Its ok though because I look great as always. That night Shawn took me for a romantic dinner at the top of the CN tower, which fyi he hired out for just me and him and the paps so we got some #publicity. Isn't my life just #goals?