When I Say, I Love You...

Chapter 10

It took me a whole hour to pull myself together and just leave that house. I just stood there reading that letter over and over again until I couldn't bare to read it anymore. I couldn't believe but it was true is right in front of me in ink. My mother comitted suicide and that was the complete truth, I was glad that I finally knew what really happened to my mother, but it was also a shame that that was the truth. I know one thing though, I was glad as hell to find out there wasn't any more secrets that I needed to know I felt a sense of relief rush through my spine. But I couldn't shake the feeling of what I finally knew.

I drove all the way to Hayvenhurst in tears and whenI pulled up in the driveway Michael was standing there waiting for me. I couldn't help myself, as soon as I parked the car I jumped out and ran into his arms sobbing harder then ever, he embraced my back soothing me and telling me that it was gonna be alright. He stroked my hair moving pieces out of my face. When I got my crying under control, he stepped back wiping away my tears and looking dead in my eyes."What happened?" He asked softly."Did he"

I shook my head."No, he didn't."

"Then why are you crying so hard?"he asked, I could feel the concern he had in his eyes and in his voice.

"Because, I went to my old house and I found this," I handed him my mothers note, he lookedbat me and then folded it. He read through it thoroughly he mouth dropping as It reached towards the end."

He looked at me and back down at the letter."Oh Liyah he said pulling me back into his arms." I'm so sorry."his warm tender touch made feel better a little. I didn't want him to let me go. He just felt so good to me."C'mon, he said, lets take a walk."

He grabbed my hand and started down the stone walkway that leaded all the way to the back yard.

"You know,"I began shortly after we began walking."That day just keeps running through my mind over and over again." I said looking out towards the darkness.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"The day after my mother died; I had just woken up and I realized I was in a completly different place then when I fell asleep, I think it was a hospital or something, anyways, I woke on Susanne's arms and I remember looking up at her like 'What the hell is going on?' Her face was soaked in tears and some was even dropping down on me. When she realized I was awake she pulled me to the side and she brushed my hair back, I could never forget that look she had on her face, it was a mixture of hurt, pain, and confusion. It pains my heart now to even get a flashback of it." I immediatly broke down into more sobs michael put his arm around me."when she told me I was so confused, I was to young to understand what death was, I mean I was only six years old. I just didn't understand. But now I do, I understand what that confusion was in susanne's eyes, she didn't understand it hetself, that's the reason why she kept it from me for all that time, it's because she didn't understand. My mother kept secrets from not only her but everyone and she died she left this big mystery that I was suppose to solve, that's why I found that picture that's why I was suppose to know who keith was, and why I missed that flight and he didn't. It all lead up to this." I took a moment to catch my breath and while the tears from my eyes."I spent most of my life blaming Susanne for not telling me, but it turns out she was just as clueless as I was, she had know idea as to what my mother was gonna do that night, she just knew she was watching until she got back"

"But she never did." Michael said in a dead tone.

"Exactly, I think my mother let me find all this stuff out now because she didn't want me to have to sorry about it later on in my life. Now that I know all the answers, I can live on with my life, i'm not caught in the middle of some big lie any more."

"Doesn't that feel good." He asked me with a smile.

I nodded my head smiling back at my beautiful angel."yes, it does. And now I can spend the rest of my life with one of the most important person in the world to me right now."

"And who is that exactly?" He asked curiosly.

I turned around and favd him, then I looked at the moon glistening in his eyes, ot reminded of the first time I ever fell in love with my best friend, I kissed his soft lips and smiled."You."