Studs and Stilettos

Lesson 22 - some handsome hunks are not all they seem.

Well I seem to have got away with it yet again.

Another week is over and I am still here, a Chemistry teacher in St Euclids and I am sure that within the next few days I am going to be in receipt of my pay cheque. It's almost the end of the month and rumour has it, there is one week left until the half-term break.

No other inspector darkens my door for the rest of the week and by Friday afternoon, everything is over. The Ofsted team has packed it's portfolios and paperwork, written up its report and buggered off to intimidate the next unsuspecting school.

The pub is heaving with St Euclid's staff. Everyone is in need of a relaxing bevvy after the stresses and strains of entertaining Her Majesty's Inspectorate and as I push my way to the bar I catch snippets of classroom anecdotes, seasoned with bits and bobs of the blood and gore of being ripped apart by some officious little bureaucrat.

I've told Brutus to be here early so I can get him hitched up with Dr Beeter and I am interested to see whether Charlie drinks enough to reveal his Jekyll and Hyde split persona and come in the policeman's uniform. I doubt it. Deep deep down, Charlie has more sense – surely?

Brutus waves to me from the bar. He's wearing a new crimson shirt with a shocking pink cravat tied in a strange bow and he's touched up his hair colour so his spikes are now multi-toned. I just hope this garish get-up isn't too overpowering for the rather formal Dr Beeter who can look a bit like a twenty five year stuffed into a fifty year old's clothing.

'Hello Pippa. Didn't know whether you would be able to come.'

Pippa pecks my cheek. She looks pale and gorgeous in a blue top which matches her eyes.

'I've worked enough hours this week to deserve one night off.' she says, sipping a low calorie cola. 'It's helped take my mind off Mike and...and...' tears start to well up making her eyes sparkle, 'that ..bitch.'

I pat her arm soothingly and stare around, looking for people to home in on.

'I'm just going to say Hi to Brutus.' Pippa sips her drink barely wetting the glossed lips. 'See you in a bit. Maybe we can stop off at Puccinis on the way home and have a pizza. I haven't done any shopping for so long, I doubt there's any food in the flat.'

'Good idea. I'm just going to circulate.'

I do not intend getting stuck in a corner with Miss Fliss or even Moonie, much as I like her. My intentions are to honourably see my chum Brutus happily seducing Dr Beeter and witnessing Charlie Best doing a floorshow so at this precise moment I am on a Beetie foray. He said he would be coming – or did he? I can't really remember. Maybe he's gone to the country to borrow more clothes from an aged relative or is still at school marking Latin prose. I wander out to the backdoor of the pub and scan the dark car park for signs of the youthful figure of Brutus's new man.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone...who I definitely do not want to talk to. Too late to nip into the ladies. I'm stuck in the freezing doorway breathing out clouds of hot air.

'Hello Miss Niccus.'

'Edwin. What are you doing here? Sixth formers don't usually mingle with staff.'

'I am over eighteen so I'm allowed in here.'

'I wasn't in any doubt about that. Brutus is inside - but I dont suggest you go and talk to him. He's rather busy and – anyway, he's moved on since you saw him last.'

Edwin shakes his head. 'I'm not interested in him! It's you I want. I can't stop thinking about you. Cant we go somewhere quiet and talk. I so need to tell you how I feel.'