A Subtle Confession (Mr. Burns x Smithers)

Chapter twelve - What is This?

"Just know you're not alone."

"I-I . . ."

What-what is happening?!  Mr. Burns frantically thought. Smithers . . .  Smithers can't do this to me.

"Uh, Sir?" Smithers asked. Mr. Burns hadn't noticed that his assistant had let go of him, awkwardly standing by his boss.

"Smithers . . .  I think it's best that you leave my office."

"Of course, Sir," Smithers left his boss' office, closing the door gently behind him. Oh, God, I  messed up, didn't I? Smithers wondered frantically to himself. He's not going to want to talk to me again . . .  I'll surely be fired for this. Of course he knows, and of course he doesn't feel the same way. What am I to do now?

In his office, Mr. Burns hung his head, his left hand placed firmly on his desk, and his right planted on his forehead in thought. "What am I to do?" he asked himself aloud. Smithers had always acted similarly to his current actions, letting subtle hints of his emotions slip. Mr. Burns had never noticed them of course --- he had always been blinded by his assistant's position, and could never imagine a man with another man, let alone Smithers with him. What has become of me? He asked. I've . . .  I've fallen to this feeling-I don't know what's happened! I'm realizing now that Smithers has always acted this way, but never in this light! Sure, I've had my fair share of women, some of them real lookers themselves, but never quite had a homosexual relationship with another man. Oh, there was that one time in college . . .  but that was only an experience. Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door, disturbing him from his thoughts. 

"Mr. Burns?" a faint voice asked from behind the door.

"Come in," he said slowly in response. Though he didn't wish to talk to his assistant at all, he knew it needed to be done. 

"Mr. Burns, I just wanted to say that I-"

"No need, Smithers," Mr. Burns said. "I already know what is to be said by you, and frankly, I don't want to hear it," Smithers was very visibly confused. "I'm sure you know I am aware of your . . .  situation."

Smithers let out a small gasp, very well aware of what Mr. Burns was referring to. "You mean . . ?"

"Yes, yes, you and your little feelings."

"Forgive me Sir, but they are not simply 'little feelings.' I have been harboring these for . . .  for longer than I can remember! And you have no idea how intense they are."

"Point taken, Smithers, but I doubt that any feelings of that nature from one man to another could be . . .  of that nature!"

"You . . .  you really think . . ?"

Mr. Burns sighed. "To be honest, Smithers, I'm not sure. I've never thought about anything like this often, and the one time I did, it was extremely short livid-"

"Wait, wait, wait, back up there," Smithers said, chuckling. He was a bit happy to break out of the awkward situation for a moment, and he was genuinely curious. "You've had a homosexual experience?"

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds weird," Burns said with a wave of his hand. "But yes. Back when I was in college, I met a man. His name was Edward, and he was as young as he was stupid. And of course, it all happened with the cliche game of truth or dare, and it didn't take long before the bastard told me to kiss him."

"Is that all?" Smithers asked. Something didn't seem right. 

Mr. Burns paused. "No. It ended then, but he wanted to continue . . .  later."

Smithers started to see where this was going, but he was still curious. "Point taken, Sir, but . . .  did anything happen after that night?"

"No, it was merely sex."

"So . . .  you did have sex with him?"

"Yes, Smithers, if you must know, but for your inquisitive mind, nothing was . . .  penetrative."

Smithers opened his mouth as if to say something, quickly shutting it soon after when he saw the fed-up expression his boss had.

"Smithers," Mr. Burns sighed. "I don't know exactly what you want, but I know I can't give it to you."

"W-why, Sir?"

"Because I know I can't give you sex --- sure, I could easily have a one night stand whenever I pleased --- the women want me, you know, but I never thought in my wildest dreams that I'd have a man want me. And I know that if I did perhaps indulge said man, I wouldn't be the same afterwards. And I know I can't give you a relationship. God knows I love you, Smithers, I do. But I'm not sure either of us are up for that kind of emotional strain. And with . . .  emotions as strong as yours, it would be difficult not to plunge into something deep. I know how long you've been waiting, Waylon. And I . . .  I'm concerned, to be honest. I am concerned for you. I don't want this to impact our relationship for the worse. I want to have the old Smithers. I want my Waylon back. But even you don't have to say that is easier said than done. But most of all . . .  I fear that I may . . .  share your monstrous feelings," Mr. Burns could see a shocked expression come over his assistant, and he put up his hands in defense. "Now, this does not by any meas mean that I am going to date you, Waylon. I am an old man, and we both know that I am much too elderly for love. I suggest you leave it at that."

"I-I don't know what to say, Sir," Smithers said. "This is a lot, and I understand that, but I . . .  I just want you to know that if you ever do change your mind . . .  I am here. I love you, Sir."

"Ah, well, pish tosh," he said, motioning Smithers away. When he was out of earshot, he said, "I do appreciate the notion, though."

A/N: I am finally back on my computer! This means longer chapters, and better writing! Hopefully this means I will get more done on this story as well. I have kind of abandoned my other stories, but I am hoping to finish this one before moving onto others. Well, as always, thank you so much for reading!
-C

(Image credit: MissNeens, Tumblr)