Tammy's Tale

Tammy: Chapter Eighteen

I hugged my knees and stared out the window, trying to ignore Janay's loud screams and cries for me. I couldn't stop crying, I was shaking and my room door burst open. Dante walked in and picked Janay up rocking her, I looked at him and he looked at me with his eyes wide.

'You can't say you didn't hear her crying, I know you're stressed... he's been in hospital for 3 days Tammy and you haven't even bothered to go-'

'Leave me alone.' I said quietly and he sighed, slowly shaking his head.

'I know he would want to see you, I know you're scared, I'll go with you-'

'Please go Dante.' I repeated and he sighed before walking out of my room with Janay, I didn't want him to see me cry. I wiped a tear that fell down my cheek and rested my head against the wall, I was wearing his hoodie... his strong scent that I loved so much and usually comforted me was making me cry. I just couldn't take it off. I then felt my mum's arms wrap around me and she pulled me close to her.

'Shh, he'll be okay Tam... I'm sure he will.' I shook my head.

'I can't eat, sleep, think, talk, or breathe properly. I-It hurts...' I said and broke down crying once again. I felt a tear from her drip onto my arm and she rubbed my back.

'Everyone's been to see him... he's still in a critical condition the doctors said... maybe you should go?' I shook my head, I couldn't look at him in that state. It made me feel sick to my stomach to picture him, wires attached to him.

'It would make sense if Dante and I looked after Janay until you feel better.'

'I can look after my own daughter.' I said and wiped my tears.

'You clearly aren't capable at the moment Tammy, there's nothing wrong with admitting you just need a bit of extra help-'

'I'M NOT INCAPABLE OF LOOKING AFTER MY DAUGHTER! WHERE IS SHE?' I asked looking around and my mum sighed.

'Dante came in and took her because she was crying, you were just sitting there staring.' I blinked hard... did I really do that?

'I just sat here?' I asked and she nodded.

'It's okay Tammy, you're upset.'

'That's no excuse... how could I be such a bad mum? Is Janay okay?'

'She's fine she was just being a bit grumpy, Chloe's here...' Mum said and I nodded, I was wishing she would say Ryan's here but she didn't and she couldn't. She sighed and kissed the top of my head.

'Go shower, get ready and if you're feeling up to it I can drop you to the hospital?' I shrugged, I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him yet.

'Maybe... I don't know yet mum.'

'Tam, you should visit him ... he's your boyfriend.'

'I just can't look at him in that state, I don't understand what he's done... why would someone shoot him?'

'I wouldn't know love, just tell me when you feel like going, alright?' I nodded and she left the room. My phone started ringing again and I thought it was Chloe so I ignored it because I didn't feel like speaking to her right now. It rung again and an unknown number came up, so I picked up.

'Hello?'

'Tammy, it's Ryan's mum.' She said and I gritted my teeth. I really didn't like this woman.

'What do you want?'

'I noticed you hadn't been to see him.'

'I was busy.'