What Is Love

Chapter Thirty Five

There's two songs for this chapter, all by 5 Seconds of Summer ....enjoy....

~Ghost of you
~Lie to me

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"What happened?  I just saw some men in suits walk out with Arijit and an angry Varun"
"I can't explain, it's....complicated. "
"Cant you try?"
"Lets just say, Varun doesn't like the spotlight," it told her, I knew she didn't understand, and I am confused as well, we walked in silence to the car,
"So, you're driving? You need to though, I'll be coming back late, " Tanya said, I nodded to her. "What's wrong Kareena? You'rd so silent,"
"Nothing, I'm just..thinking,"
"Thinking? That?"
"His life is not normal, "
"What?"
"There's more to Varun than you all see,"
"Youre confusing me,"
"And so am I, I'm also confused, I'm not even sure what I'm thinking, " I sighed, she leaned back into the chair, putting on her earpiece, and looking out the window, I dropped her outside the publishing house and drove off. I pulled into the driveway,  turning off the ignition, I sighed, unbuckled my seatbelt, felt on the backseat for my bag, which contained my clothes, looking at the time, I wa five minutes late, Ms. Haider hated lateness, but with the entire drama going on, I don't even know a reasonable explanation to give to her, I'm just going to have to take in her word lash. I opened the door, all eyes turned to me, the music stopped,
"Youre late Ms. Devhan"
"Sorry," I said in an almost whisper, she nodded,
"Get back to work," she said to them,

"Hey, are you okay?" Derek asked me,
"Yeah,"
"I'm not sure you are, the video.."
"Which one in particular? There's too many videos right now , I don't even know..."
"His sad confession, "
"The whole world has seen it by now I'm sure, this is a huge mess,"
"Dont get yourself all worked up, look at the bright side of it, the video proved that your relationship was in fact, fake." He said, I looked at him, but not at him, my mind was on what he said, it might have proven to be false the relationship and all, but he broke down to the public, he became weak, that's not what I would want for him, I've understood him a little and I know he doesn't like pity, I won't be surprised if he thinks his fans listen to his music out of pity, I sighed,
"Derek, get in here now," Ms. Haider called him,
"See you inside" he said to me. I nodded to him, picked my bag into the changing room and changed,  I sat on the bench placing my head in my hands, took in deep breaths , before I raised my head, packed my hair into a ponytail, and walked in,
"Took you long enough. Was about to come check on you, " Ms. Haider said to me, "take your positions now, we're starting from the top, hope you haven't forgotten your routine Ms. Devhan with all that's happened to you?" Ms. Haider wasn't one to hide her tongue, she drops the bomb right in front of you ,
"I'm fine Ms. Haider, "
"Good to know. Take your positions now everyone." All the girls lined up in front, I was in the middle, Derek behind me, Emily beside me, on my left hand side, and Nats on my right, we took our positions, but I knew, my head wouldn't be in this dance, at all! Derek's words keep ringing in my head, the video proved that your relationship was in fact, fake. It kept on repeating, no matter how much I don't like him, I wouldn't want him reducing himself below his standards, just for that. I feel real guilty.
"Ms. Devhan , we started ten seconds ago," Ms. Haider called my out of my thoughts, looking round,their faces held worried expressions. I gave a fake reassuring smile to her,
"We start from the top. Keep your heads low. On earth" she said, looking at me. I bit my lower lip,
"You shouldn't get so worked up about this whole issue," Derek whispered into my ears, as he held me from the back, my arms spread wide  like every lady in the room was, his arms under mine, lifting me slowly, it isnt my fault I keep slipping into deep thoughts. The song alone is enough for that. I love the song, he twirled me around, and we switched partners, now I was with some other guy, but each time I looked at his face, Varun's face appears, those blood shot red eyes haunt me down, and I'd completely make a fool of myself, and make everyone start from the top.
"Break. .... five minutes, and we're all back in this room." Ms. Haider said, they all disappeared.
"Ms. Devhan, one second,"
"Yes Ms. Haider, "
"I've seen it all, your life is a total drama and you're just twenty one, you've totally lost your focus here,  if you can't handle it, I won't mind giving you today off, to get your mind in place,"
"No, please don't send me home, it'll worsen my state. I promise you, I won't make any mistakes, "
"It's not the mistakes, it's your mental health, you're completely under pressure, and you don't realize it. Tell me, what exactly is going on?"
"Its too heavy, even I cant explain,"
"I understand, take care girl, you know, you're my shine in this place, but I won't want that to make me completely blinded of your own issues,"
"Thank you Ms. Haider, means a lot,"
"Youre welcome." She smiled at me, I went into the changing room, pulled out my bottle and gulped down the water,
"Slow down there," Derek said smiling at me, "you're a wreck , and if you don't take care, you'll be a complete one."
"What do you mean?"
"Can I be honest with you? Like completely? "
"You don't need to ask, come sit," I patted the space beside me, and he sat down, "so...what's up?" I was eager to find out, not because I'm nosey, but because he's gonna have my head cleared from all the thoughts.
"My feelings for you never died, but then, there's always a twist to every love story, you didn't feel same for me, you see me as a friend and I appreciate the honour, but what you haven't noticed Kareena, that these incidents going on with you and Varun, aren't mere coincidences, the two of you have feelings for each other, hidden deep here," he said pointing to his heart which everyone knows lies at the left hand side, "you're worried about him, his blow up, everyone has seen it, except the two of you, being in complete denial mode, "
"Time's up everyone." Ms. Haider says as she claps her hand,
"You feel for him, he feels same, don't rush it, don't sweat it, just let things go the way they're supposed to." Just then, Emily and Nats plop down beside me, and Derek walks away.
"Hey girl, we know what's been happening to you, but try getting out that moody wave, and besides, we've got a meeting by seven, be strong girl, the Kareena I know, is strong headed, and goes for what she wants.  I hugged them, apart from Tanya, they're my next family. We got up from the bench and walked into the dance room, positions already taken,
"Is everyone ready?" She asked, nobody replies,
"That's a yes, so okay. Two songs, from our favourite band, 5SOS, Lie to me and Ghost of you, same routine, focus people. Focus! One ! Two! ! ...." she started the music, with the slow beats, all the ladies, fall into the guys arms, turning us over, we're facing them , I'm facing Derek, they put their hands on our waists, and our hands go to their shoulders, before we pull away, and then back together, my feelings for you never died, he's staring deep into my eyes , the music fading in my head, his face slowly disappears, and his face appears, his holding me, with intense looks in his eyes, I'm dancing once again, with Varun. But something's different about the looks, they're softer, filled with love, his twirling me, and twirling me, and peace surrounds me, when I'm back in his arms, as we switch, I'm brought to reality , I'm not with Derek anymore, someone else , stranger,