desperate

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at night i make myself cry

hoping for a feeling different than numbness to fill my body completely.

getting high on this sadness pill, addicted.

but as expected

tears won't fall

and i will forever be stuck in this void feeling

hoping for a better one to finally drown me

choke me

beat me up

rather be broken than empty

rather live aching than indifferent

i'm begging on my knees

please listen to my plea

kill me if you want

but mother don't let me live this life of apathy and dullness

mother don't let me live this feeling-less life

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