what is this feeling that has taken over my body
it feels like a parasite that comes out of nowhere
and is trying to drain my energy.
numbness all over my body
fake smiles, fake laughs, mask on my face.
how do i get over it? not even my old friend "music"
can help me this time.
i try to cry to relieve some pain,
but tears won't stain my cheeks.
i try to scream,
but i'm so tired my voice won't get past my throat.
i was fearful, waiting for this moment.
scared of confronting this monster that has followed me for so long.
it's finally here and i don't even know how to fight but; just like every other time.
i just sleep to feel better.
i go to dreamland, where i can finally rest from the pain
that is consuming me little by little.
will i make it out of the imminent dark winter?
i'm just waiting for the shining spring,
but it seems so far away
almost all hope is gone.
i better dress myself with the thickest of my clothes,
because it will stay for long
and this time
it feels like it'll be an unforgiving one
