Converting to Islam

Chapter 1

"I hate my life."

"What are you talking about Ami? Aren't you happy you have me?" Tyler looks at me with an expression that seemingly shows concern, his hand intertwined with mine as we walk towards his car.

"Stop calling me that stupid name. My name is Amber."

"Oh come one, I just thought it would be more romantic!"

I stop in my tracks and look straight into his green eyes. "Do you really love me?"

Tyler widens his eyes to suggest shock and opens his mouth to protest, "Of course I do Ami!"

My eyes narrow at him.

"Then why can't I feel it?"

We didn't say a word after that, and rode our car home in silence. I guess Tyler didn't have anything else to say. Maybe he doesn't love me. Maybe soon he will break up with me and go find another fiancé, just like he did with all his previous girlfriends. I still remember how he would look them in the eyes and tell them that he loves them.

Then again, I don't think Tyler will leave me. Both are families are eager for us to marry each other. I try to remember how it all started between us. Oh yes, his beautiful green eyes, silky blonde hair and gorgeous build. That's why. I thought he would be the perfect prince charming: handsome, popular and rich. I was thrilled when he asked me to be his girlfriend, and it soon came to becoming his fiancé, but then suddenly it hit me.

I am not happy.

As I climb out of the car I am stopped by Tyler's hand. He reaches for my face and kisses me with his lusciously plump lips. I felt nothing.

"Bye." I mumble.

"Try not to think too much Amber," he winks, "See you later."

And with that, he drives away in his red Ferrari, and I walk inside my spectacularly big house.

I immediately climb the staircase to my room, my feet thudding against each marble stair I climb. When I reach my room I bang the door shut and fall onto my luxurious bed and stare at the ceiling.

"Why am I alive?" I whisper.

After a few moments of just lying there lifelessly I reach for my laptop and open Google search. I type something.

Depression.

Instantly, the page is filled with links and I click a random one that seems useful. On the site is written: The primary symptoms of Depression are a sad mood and loss of interest in life. The activities that once were found pleasurable lose their appeal. Patients often have a sense of uselessness, lack of hope and recurring thoughts of death and suicide.

My eyes scan over the words. They sound all too familiar.

I then search Overcoming Depression. I go through the links listed down the results page, until I click on something that seemed interesting. Studies have shown that Atheists are more likely to suffer depression than Theists.

This catches my attention. I am an Atheist. Could this really be the reason of my Depression? Mum and dad always would tell me how stupid people are to believe that god actually exists; implying that thankfully evolution has caused many people to come to see the truth. This was never a good enough explanation for me though. I was always looking for more.

This leads me to my next search.

Does God exist?

I read through every site that I find, each one of them presenting reasons about why God is real, and why He isn't. As I am mindlessly clicking through the sites, I click on this video, and a magical sound fills my room.

These strange words...what are they? I read the description to see something Islamic called the 'Azan', which must be in Arabic. I close my eyes for a moment. The sound...for some reason it calmed me, comforted me. I lay there in silence for a while just listening to it.

When it finally ends I replay it, wanting more.

A loud knocking on my door disrupts my concentration and I hear the sound of Tyler's voice, "Hey Amber you left your phone in my ca-"

Turning around I see Tyler standing in front of me with my phone in his hand. His mouth is ajar and his wide eyes are looking straight at my computer screen as if it's a bomb.