strange sweet feelings (A Nigerian Gay Story)

chapter 20 : confession

Fred's POV

Surprisingly Belinda was free on this particular sunday which was really rare because it was one of her busy working days, not like sarturday tho, it's usually hectic for her. I couldn't stop thinking about my encounter with victor, the way he looked at me and all is just too painful, he looked he was having a tough time. Maybe he totally needed to be away from him, I wasn't really a good person to see or think about after all that I've done.

Belinda walked out of my apartment, we were going to grill meat today, in Nigeria it's called "suya", Belinda bought meat on her way here and she had proceeded to go wash the meat, I didn't even notice when she came back to where I had set the grilling equipment.

" Freddy what's occupying your thoughts, you've been acting all zoned out and weird since on Thursday" she asked sitting close to me.

"Nothing, it's just Thursday was really...."

She didn't let me complete my statement, she interrupted me immediately " ohhh, is it that dude you had a moment with, I've been thinking about it but I didn't want to seem all nosy, is that....is he victor?" She asked in a shaky voice almost like she was afraid of what my next reaction would be.

" Yes Bella, and I didn't expect to see him at all, seeing him brought about lots of emotions and licked up feelings, I know we have nothing with each other again, but I miss him, I want to touch him and feel him, i want him back bella, but It doesn't seem like he still has any feelings for me, I'm just confused" I said with pain,
" ohhh"belinda replied looking a bit sad and disappointed, only her statement on all I've said, indicated that something was wrong, it was unlike Belinda to reply with an ohhh, so moved closer to her and tried to lift her chin with my fingers so she would be facing directly towards me,

"Belinda what's wrong" I asked a bit anxious,

"It's nothing, don't worry, it's nothing serious just my stupid thoughts like always" she said bitterly

That got me very confused " tell me Bella, what's wrong I don't get you, tell me, I'm your bro I'm always here for you".

Immediately she burst into tears " that's the problem fred, that's it, I don't want to be considered as your sister, I like you more than a sister would fred, I know it's stupid, you're gay, I'm fully aware, but I just thought with the way you are treating me, maybe you're starting to feel something for me, I shouldn't have gotten so close, I love you fred, and it's just heartbreaking that you can't love me the way I want you to, anyone who knew you were gay, would see me as crazy, but fred there's something I feel when I'm with you, I don't know when it happened or how, but I fell in love with you, this isn't right and I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry"

I was so shocked my secretary at work was right, Belinda was attached, too attached, I felt so bad, I shouldn't have led this on, although I never even knew that I was encouraging a straight female to build emotions towards me, I held her hands and looked into her eyes, but she wouldn't let me speak instead she frees herself from my hold and stands up
" I'm sorry fred but I can't do this, let's give each other space for sometime, I can't keep a feeling that won't be returned, I care for you, but this time I have to consider myself, if at all we want this friendship to last we need space" immediately she goes inside picks up her bag and leaves my house.

I was so shocked, what is going on, Belinda in love with me, I couldn't believe my ears, but immediately something more unbelievable happened my phone started ringing " it was victor".