Unsent Letters

Dear D

Beautiful are temporary things
Wishing wells and golden rings
Wear your favorite armor
Ride on a horse
I'll wait for you
On our front porch.

          Yes. I wrote that poem just a second ago. I know it's kinda shitty. But it came to my mind and I just have to write it down.

          As I am writing this, I am thinking that we could have been better for each other. We could have fought for what could have been. But that's not the sole purpose of why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I want to tell you what I really feel.

          The summer of 2008 could have been the best summer of my life. But I'm not about to tell you that. That's when I met you. We didn't have a proper conversation, because we couldn't understand each other at that time. Me, as I was speaking our dialect, Cebuano, and you, speaking your dialect as well, Dutch.

          Six years passed and you came back. We did not have a conversation because we were too young and too shy to even make the first move.

          I waited for another four years and holla, you came. I felt giddy and excited and just pure happiness drumming inside me. You shook my hand and I shook yours. We didn't talk and just stared at each other for I don't know how long. Still, we were those 10-year olds who were too shy to make the first move. But you shook my hand when you were about to leave and hugged my mom. I was a bit jealous but let's just leave it at that haha.

          The moment you left, I chatted you on Messenger and sent you all your photos, and I was there in some of those. Hoping to be remembered. That started our conversation and voila, we're talking late at night.

          You were still in Iloilo that time with your family so our conversation went on. We got to know each other more and rambled about our interests. You liked to draw and I was into writing. Maybe we could even start a graphic novel someday.

          We were two young people, a bit excited and on the rush of things. Ignoring this static buzz of warning in our heads.

           At some point in time, we stopped. I don't know what changed but you can't really name our long-distance conversations a step-up in our relationship. We were just two bored teenagers seeking for solace and solitude. And I'd like to think we found that in each other. How we would try to save our constant conversation despite our six-hour time difference and our busy schedules. That was kind of flattering but for a moment in time, it was worth it.

          My whole family is still rooting for you and even though we might not end up in the way I want to, it's still great because I found a friend like you. We're still chatting and saying our hellos but I'd like to think of it as friends catching up on each other rather than two young people trying to save what was left of it all.

          This is supposed to be just a fiction of a letter but before I know it, I'm writing our story. See you soon. Imy.

-Francine