The Bad and Me

No Regrets, Just Love

My alarm blared me awake as I stood up out of bed recalling yesterday evening with Jay.  He had kissed me, and my heart skipped a beat as I remembered that moment standing in the pool and the emotions that swirled inside me.  Now I seemed to feel less ecstatic about the event and more confused by the way he acted afterward.  Was it trying to manipulate his thoughts that threw him off? Still, he shouldn’t be able to detect that. 

            After I got dressed I didn’t hesitate to disguise my memory journal as an AR book, so nobody would be curious to peek inside if I lost it.  I tucked it in my jacket pocket and headed to school.  I arrived at the front of school in my newly washed uniform twenty minutes before the bell would ring.  Removing my journal from my jacket, I checked for any X’s on the pages.  All I could see was a flock of O’s wafting through the grounds like a flock of geese migrating south for the winter.  

            My locker was waiting for me when I arrived to put my books away and so was someone else.  Jay.  He smirked as I approached him, I was trying hard not to look mad and neatly tucked my books away in my fancy, long, and azure locker.  After I locked it up I turned to Jay with a smug look on my face as he enveloped me in his arms and held on tight, waiting for me to do it back.  So I did, and I felt relieved.  

            “I’m sorry I was such an jerk yesterday,”  he apologized.  “I missed you so much last night, I couldn’t fall asleep.  I had what you said stuck playing over and over in my head, and I want to say I was acting weird because I want to be more than friends and I like the way you kissed me, to be honest.” He did? Wow I’ve never ben kissed before and I was already a good kisser?

            “Really? Well do you want me to do it again?” I teased.

            “Actually that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”  And it was too late.  He pushed me up against the lockers as he pressed his lips into mine, and we stayed locked in that position for longer than a minute.  A wave of elation flew over me as I let go of his grasp and searched his eyes for meaning.  Instead I found depression and dismay in his eyes.  The kind-hearted boy I was beginning to know was hiding something from me, I would obviously need to find out what was causing it.  

            “Are you okay, Jay?” I asked.  “You look a little out of sorts, I can see it in your eyes.  All I see is gloominess and a heavy-heart.  Is there anything you want to tell me?” He started to lower his head and stare at his feet, so I took his chin and propped it up with my hand.  “Hey, you can tell me anything, I won’t judge you.”

            He hesitated before declaring, “Just kiss me.” This time the kiss felt passionate and uplifting.  I pet his face, suddenly touching a wet tear as it gently rolled down his pristine face onto my wrist.  I opened my eyes and kissed his tear off his cheek, knowing I had to find whatever was hurting him and help.  The first bell rang just as I took his hand, and we moseyed on to first period together.