Mr.Right

Chapter 25~ Can We Just Talk

{Jay's POV💕}
{Her outfit for today^^}

It has been a week since the interview and me and Jordan have been really distant towards each other. I mean not really because we live together but we haven't really sat down and had a good long conversation about our lives and how they've drastically have changed.

I'm sitting at my desk in my at home office working on some new designs. It was already 3:00pm so I figured I'll just make us lunch at 3:30. Jordan was at working and he went to work earlier today so he should be getting off any minute.

As soon as I finished my accessories on my outfit I heard the front door being unlocked. I walked downstairs to meet up with Jordan. "Hey baby how was work?" I asked him as I leaned on the door.

He blew out a tired breath and looked at me with restful eyes. "Exhausting, hey baby." He said coming up to me. He grabbed me by my waist and kissed my cheek and walked upstairs.

I followed behind him.

He went straight in the bathroom and took at shower. A few minutes later and he walked out.

"Baby we gotta talk" I say to him. "About?" He said aggravated. I breathed in slowly so I wouldn't catch an attitude. He know my temper short so for him to play around with it is beyond me.

"Jordan please..." I was alarmingly. He looks back at me and he continues to get dressed.

"Whatchu want Jay?" He said getting impatient as he put his shirt on.

I stood silent. "Alright I want to talk to you about what's been going on, but you don't seem to give a damn but I would appreciate it if you pretended like you did." I breathed out now getting mad.

He ran his hands over his head and he sat on the edge of the bed. "Alright let's talk" he said sarcastically.

I shook my head "ugh never mind" I said about to walk out the room. "Nahh since you want to talk all of a sudden let's talk"  he said leaning back on the bed.

I folded my arms and start to speak. "Well I feel like we've been distant with each other, and I feel like we need to start talking to each other more about our feelings" I said bluntly.

He chuckled, "feelings?.." he said shaking his head from side to side "nahh I ain't got no more of em" he said. I looked at him as my eye started to twich.

"Jordan your letting these situations get to you.." I say lowly.

"What situations Jay? You mean me losing my child? Or the the "situation" where you can't have kids?" That hit me deep. I felt a tear come down my face.

"Don't say it like that, you know what that does to me" I said putting my head down, it felt like the last few pieces of my heart had feel down to my stomach. "How else do you want me to say it Jay?...we had our chance....we blew it." He said putting his head down. "Don't say that" I said my voice getting groggy. "Face the fact Jay, this pain? All the heartache we going through? It's all bullshit. Fuck it. Ion give a damn no mo....my pride and Joy Jay...he gone" he said letting a tear fall down his face. "I love you son" he said crying. He was falling apart.

I walked up to him and tried to wipe his face off but he pushed me away.

"Get off of me." He said "Jordan let me be there for you." I said furrowing my eyebrows. "You be here for me? You ain't even there for yourself" he scuffed and shook his head. "I can't do this." He said standing up.

My heart started to pound in my chest so loud I bet you could hear it across the street, I was so scared he was going to say the words I never wanted to hear again. "What do you mean, you can't do this right now? What are you trying to say?" I said as my tears started to fall fast.

"I'm saying I can't do this Jay" he said motioning between us. "Us..." He said.

I shook my head vigorously. Trying not to accept what he was trying to say. "No you don't mean that." I said whipping my tears.

He put his head down. "Jordan are you serious? No like all jokes aside are you serious right now?" I said looking at him. "Baby..." I chuckled out. "You can't be serious. After all we've been through. Nahh you can't throw something like that away." I said walking away from him.

"Jay you don't understand." He said shaking his head. I laughed "I'm the last person you should be saying that too...Jordan You don't think I'm hurting right now??" I asked getting angry.

"I HAD A DAMN MISCARRAGE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND!?!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?!??!" I said crying. "JORDAN IM HURTING TOO... I CAN'T PROVIDE ANYTHING TOO YOU...IM NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT THE NEXT GIRL CAN GIVE TO YOU....I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING IN ME AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO GIVE UP ON US!!"  I scream crying hard. What was left of my heart now gone.

"Jay calm down" he said. "Don't tell me to calm down." I said shaking.

"Jay you don't get it, I don't want to hurt you or cause any more problems than I've already have. Since day one it has been a challenge between me and you... either it be money, family, or our relationship problems we DON'T EVER GET A DAMN BREAK AND I'M TIRED...im so tired Jay... You deserve so much better but just not from me.." He finishes.

"Jordan you don't know what you have given me, you've fixed what  I thought was broken, you've brought life back into my lifeless body, you've brought light into my darkness and I'm forever greatfull. But Baby I'm not giving up on us no matter what you say, no matter how many time we fight...you just have to ride with me baby." I say grabbing his hands.

"Jay you don't even got your own shit together.." He said.

"YOUR RIGHT...ABSOLUTLY RIGHT. BECASUE YOU ARE MY HUSBAND...I WILL ALWAYS PUT HOW YOUR FEELING BEFORE I SAY SHIT. THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS. WE PUT EACHOTHER BEFORE OURSELVES BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LOVE WORKS. FOR BETTER OR FOR FUCKING WORSE...Jordan" I breathed out slowly. "I love you so much. You have no idea what I would do for you...my love runs deep for you. It's been a minutes since I was ever ready to say that to a man I've loved..." I say whipping my tears.

"We are going through shit, yes I know what relationship doesn't? It's how you handle it that gets you through those rough times. I'm always going to be there for you no matter what..." I say letting go of him and walking to the door.

"Jordan... if you want to leave...if-" I start to get chocked up so I swallow. "If you believe that's what's best for you please don't let me stop you. I want to see you happy even if that's without me...but it rips me up to be without you..." I say crying.

"I want us to be together...and I know for a fact you want the same, but baby if everytime we go through a situation you fall apart and want to end everything?...its going to break us..." I say sadly walking out the room, closing the door behind me.

I let out a long and stressful breath. I went and sat in the backyard and watch the sunset. As soon I looked at the beautiful sky I just balled my eyes out. Crying full on tears.

I can't let this break us...