Mark & Me

Date #3? The Last One

Yet, another question mark. Stop your whining! It's the last question mark! Again, he never said it was a date. This time, I told him that I was free on Thursday after class because I didn't have work. So we agreed to hang out.
We hung out in my room.
"What do you want to do?", I asked.
"Why don't you show me some Kpop", he replied. Him saying this wasn't random. On Tuesday, I gave an informative speech about Kpop.
"Are you serious?!", I said. I was so shocked that he actually wanted to check it out. I pulled up some videos and we watched them. He actually liked the ones I should him. His most favorite was Blackpink's Ddu-Du-Ddu-Du and he likes Lisa the most. That made me very happy because this meant that he had taste! His least favorite was Jessi's Gucci. It reminded him of Cardi B and he doesn't like her. I was offended that he doesn't like Cardi but I don't like westerns so, I guess we were even.

At one point I said that I needed to go to the train station to get back home but I didn't know how I was getting there. He then offered to drive me there. I finally get to see his car.

We then got some food and watched Black Panther. We sat on my bed. I laid my head on his shoulder and he laid his head on top of mine. How romantic! It felt like a real date. After watching Black Panther, we discussed the movie. I've seen it at least 5 times before because it's one of my all time favorite movies. I could sense that we were going to kiss. I was right.
We started kissing. As we were kissing, he laid me on my bed and he was on top of me. He started taking off his flannel shirt. Calm down! He was wearing it open with a Guns n' Roses t shirt under it. I felt like he might want to have sex so that's when I said, "Oh, I'm not ready if that's where this is going."

I'm a virgin. I have no shame in it! There's nothing to be ashamed of. I made a promise to myself to have sex when I felt comfortable with the guy. I have to trust and love him. In that moment, I wasn't sure what he was going to do. Was he going to pressure me into having sex? Was he going to get up and leave? My mind was racing at this point.
"Oh! Okay", he said. I could see the disappointment on his face.
"Oh no! I killed the mood!"
"No, no. You're fine!"
"I'm still okay with making out if you want to keep doing that." Of course he was down for that. So we got more comfortable on my bed and continued making out. It felt so good!
"This is my first time making out", I said.
"Wow! Really? I would've never had guessed! You kiss way better than girls I've kissed who said they've had experience."

"Oh so you've kissed a lot of girls?! So you a hoe?!", I said jokingly. He laughed. He then taught me how to French kiss. 

"Not bad!", he said.
"Really?", I replied. I couldn't believe I was good at anything remotely sexual, even kissing. I never got the chance to practice. For the most part, we laid in my bed together, cuddling one another. But I had to bring up the sex thing again.
"Is sex really that important to you?", I asked.
"It's not the most important thing. But I don't see how people can have a relationship without sex", he replied. This broke my heart.
"Does it have to be the real thing?", I said. What I meant is: can he be satisfied with just oral? I'm open to doing that but not the vaginal shit.
"Nah, it has to be the real thing", he replied.
"So... what's going to happen with us?"
"I'll have to think about it." Despite this obstacle, we laid there cuddling and talking about the most random shit.
"If this doesn't work out, can we still be friends?", I asked.
"Yes, of course we can still be friends!" I felt like he truly meant it. It didn't seem like he was only saying that to not be the bad guy. He just got to this school so he needed all the friends he could get!
"Does the offer still stand? Are you still going to drive me to the train station?", I asked.
"Haha! Of course I will. I'm not a total dick!", he replied. I agree. He wasn't. Not just because he was going to drive me to the train station. He wasn't a total dick because he never pressured me into having sex with him. Some guys do that type of shit. They're called rapists! 

After laying on my bed cuddling, he got up.
"I should get going", he said.
"It's only 12:30, can't you stay just a little longer?", I begged. I enjoyed just laying there with him so much. I didn't want the night to end. He agreed to stay a bit longer and got back in the bed with me. We cuddled and talk some more until 2am. He then got up and was about to head out. He kissed me goodbye and left.

Even though we had that issue, I still enjoyed that night. It was a night that I'll never forget. Even now, I still look back at that night and can't help but smile. I had a feeling that this would be our last night together in the romantic sense.