Neighborhood Music

I Tried So Hard

Cesar stared out the window of the moving car as they rolled up to the park on 4th street where the Prophet$ hung out. Javi slowed them to a stop and ducked down a bit to see out the window.

"That the guy?" He asked, gesturing to Latrell

Cesar nodded. Checking his phone for the millionth time since he'd gotten in the car, he sighed when he saw that Monse hadn't sent him anything.

"Look at how fast those fools are drinking that lean?" Javi continued, "They'll be faded soon. Then you strike."

He shook his head. "Too many ojos."

"So what, who cares who's watching" Javi replied

Cesar glared at him, "I do. And so would Spooky. We sit tight."

Javi considered his words for a moment before nodding. "Alright"

Cesar unlocked his phone and typed out another text to Monse.

Cesar // 9:22pm
Monse, anything? I'm running outta time.

Minutes ticked by, but she didn't reply. Cesar lost track of how many cups of lean the men in the park had downed. He had no idea what Monse was doing or where she was, but the notion that there was no way out of this started to settle in his stomach.

He felt his phone vibrate, and unlocked it quickly.

Monse // 9:36pm
We're close. Hold on.

Cesar huffed. It was too late. There was nothing he could do to avoid this.

"Man, stop praying." Javi said. "It's time"

Cesar was terrified. "There are still too many people. They'll hear it for sure." He argued

Javi shook his head, "Nah. Not when you got this"

Cesar watched Javi screw in the silencer. His stomach felt like it was full of rocks. His heart was hammering in his chest.

"That fool been crushing the lean all night. So when he goes to take a piss, you make your move." Javi instructed

Cesar took the gun in his hand and stared at it. He'd never in a million years imagined that this is where his life would end up. Like the night before, he felt like he was having an out of body experience.

It was only a few minutes before he watched Latrell get up from the park table and walk off to the bathroom. Javi nudged him, and Cesar got out of the car. Lifting his hood, he snuck across the grass and followed him. For a while he wondered if he would pass out. His heart was racing and he was sweating like a hog.

He ducked into the bathroom and found Latrell finishing up at the urinal.

"Man this lean is something serious. I'm faded" the unsuspecting man said

Cesar cocked the gun, and Latrell's head snapped up to meet his gaze. Cesar raised the gun, but his heart wasn't in it.

With the gun still aimed at Latrell, Cesar pulled out his phone to call Monse.

"I'm out of time!" He said, as soon as she answered, "tell me you got something."

He heard her sigh, "I'm so sorry."

Cesar's heart dropped. He hung up the phone just as Latrell came running at him. Cesar threw him to the ground and smacked him with the butt of the gun. Re-positioning his gun he prepared himself to do what he needed too.

Until Latrell gave him an out....

***
Cesar waited in the bathroom for a while after Latrell was gone. He didn't know how to feel, but he took solace in knowing that Monse wouldn't have to see him as a murderer.

When he finally left the bathroom, he took his time walking to the car. The other Prophet$ were gone. He didn't see any sign of them. Javi said nothing as he climbed back into the car. But Cesar was ok with that. He didn't really feel like talking.

As soon as they stopped in front of his house, he walked inside. Letty crushes him into a hug the moment he walked through the door, but Cesar said nothing. He was barely aware of Oscar calling his name, and he didn't have the energy to speak to him. Instead, he walked down the hall to his room and turned the lock after he shut the door.

He heard Letty telling his brother to leave him be, and for what felt like the millionth time in recent weeks, he was so grateful to her. Oscar would ask him questions that he didn't want to answer, Cesar just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to sleep.

Shedding his clothes and turning off his phone, he crawled into bed and curled himself around the pillow Monse had slept on a few nights prior. He inhaled deeply, loving that his bed still kind of smelled like her. It provided him with the comfort he needed to finally drop off to sleep.