Neighborhood Music

Special Girl

In the days that followed a number of things changed. Monse couldn't say that she felt much different, but she was aware that she was different somehow. She'd slept with Cesar. More than once. Gently, slowly, fast and dirty. They'd done it all in the last few days. She'd gotten used to the feeling of waking up in his arms, and of falling asleep next to him, spent from their love making.

Today, Cesar was waking up in his own bed. Monse was usually thrilled to have her father home, but suddenly she found herself longing for him to take another long drive.

She rolled out of bed and got dressed for the day, trying her best not to rush or seem overly eager to leave. She didn't want her dad to suspect anything was off, even though she had a feeling he knew a little bit about her crush on Cesar.

"Morning baby" her father smiled as she walked into the kitchen and popped some bread in the toaster.

"Hey Dad!" She smiled

"Everything go ok while I was gone?" He asked

Monse nodded, "Yeah. It was actually fine. The block was pretty quiet too, no major crimes to report."

"Just the usual slinging dope and loitering?" Her dad teased

Monse smiled, "Pretty much. Letty dropped by on Sunday night to ask if the trucking company still had an opening for a receptionist by the way!"

"She's finally seen the light huh?" He asked

Monse shrugged, "Cesar thinks she's sick of waiting for Oscar to get out of jail."

Her dad nodded, "Can't say I blame her. Your grandmother always said the worst part for the women in that life is having to wait around for your man to get out of prison. Time freezes for guys in there."

"Did grandma really hate living in Freeridge?" She asked

"I don't know that she hated it, but she definitely didn't enjoy your grandfather's criminal behavior. There was a point where I thought we would leave, but she just didn't have the money or the support. This was her community, everyone she knew and loved lived on this street." He explained

Monse contemplated this, setting her plate down and taking the seat across from her father.

"I feel silly sometimes for not hating this place." She admitted

"What do you mean?" Her father asked

Monse shrugged taking a bite of her toast.

"It's gangland. Everyone I know from outside this place thinks it's a shithole. But my whole life is on this block. I can't imagine loving people more than I love my crew." She explained

Standing up her father chuckled.

"It's home Monse. It's ok to love home." He said

She smiled, "I know. I'm just worried things are going to be different when I come back. I don't want anything to taint my view of this place."

"This writing camp is going to be an amazing opportunity for you baby girl! I'm so proud of you. Everything will be here when you get back." He said

She kept that thought in her mind over the next few days. As she hung out with her friends, she reminded herself that everything would be fine and the same when she returned. When she walked around the neighborhood she thought about how in her entire life very little had changed. And, on her last night, when Cesar kissed her goodbye and jumped out the window, she prayed silently that nothing between them would change anything about home for her. 

On the day she left, she didn't cry until her father drove away from the bus.