Neighborhood Music

Soul Survivor

Cesar woke up to a knock on his door. He was surprised to find that the sun had already risen. He'd been sure that his night was going to be restless, but instead he'd slept peacefully.

"You awake hermano?" he heard Oscar call

Groaning, he sat up, "Yeah."

"Come out here, I wanna talk to you." Oscar said

Cesar rolled out of bed and unlocked the door, pulling it open so that he could look at his brother. The moment he did, Oscar grabbed him, crushing the younger boy into his chest in a bone crushing hug.

"You scared the shit outta me yesterday." Oscar mumbled into his shoulder

Cesar wasn't sure how to respond, but he hugged his brother back. When Oscar finally let go, Cesar got a good look at his face and realized how tired his older brother looked.

"Come on, it's time to do something about this hair." Oscar said

Cesar followed his brother into the bedroom he and Letty shared. Oscar had set up a kitchen chair on a sheet next to his hair clippers. Cesar frowned a little, but sat down anyway.

"Feeling sick?" Oscar asked him

Cesar shook his head no. He had no idea what he was feeling if he was honest with himself, but sick wasn't it.

Oscar nodded, "Ain't no room for remorse"

Cesar heard the buzz of the hair clippers and felt his brother pull his hair back. Slowly and gently, Oscar shaved off the first bit of his hair.

'Guess it's all coming off now.' Cesar thought, he was a little unhappy about the haircut, but what could he do.

"The prophet$ are shit. They want to exterminate us because they fear us. And they should" Oscar continued, "We're the future Lil Spooky. This is our hood. I know you question what you did, but what you did had to be done."

Cesar was suddenly very uncomfortable with how comfortable his brother was with the idea that he could kill someone. It was as if Oscar was proud of him for murder. Rationally, Cesar knew he didn't have any actual blood on his hands, but the fact that Oscar would praise something like that made his stomach churn.

"You handled your shit" Oscar said, continuing to rid Cesar of his thick hair, "you ensured your future. I'm proud of you. We're proud of you. You're a Santo."

Cesar realized then that he was going to be sick. He tried his best to keep it down, but as Oscar set his hands on his shoulders, Cesar heaved over and emptied his stomach.

Oscar patted him on the back until he was done.

"You're ok Mano. It's going to be ok."

Cesar nodded. Spitting to clear his mouth, he leaned back in the chair. "You can finish" he told his brother.

So Oscar did.

When he was done, Cesar left the room. Oscar told him not to worry about the mess, so he headed to his bathroom. Showering, he quickly changed into his suit. He was going to be a little late, but he could make Olivia's quince if he hurried.

Letty agreed to drop him off. So once he was ready, they got in the car and headed for the church. Once they were two blocks away from the house Letty broke their awkward silence.

"Are you ok?" She asked, her tone hesitant

Cesar turned to look at her. He considered what telling her the truth would mean. He knew he was going to tell Monse, but he hadn't considered what he was going to say to Letty. She had agonized over this decision longer than he had. He knew that's why she and Oscar were fighting, he wanted her to know that her faith in him was not misplaced.