steal the world // five seconds of summer {discontinued}

two

Despite the drama of the morning, the rest of the school day passed by rather uneventfully much to my displeasure. It wasn’t that I thrived off teenage melodrama; it was just that school was so unbearably boring when nothing happened.

I honestly think the most interesting thing that happened after the Mr. Franks issue was that I got called a slut in history. Even that in itself wasn’t exactly outrageous, the fact that it hadn’t happened until fifth period was the only part that was even remotely surprising.

Gilly Hoffman had thought she was so clever bumping into my desk and pretending that it had been an accident. I had ignored that because children will be children and the incident had literally no effect on me what so ever. I had been a little pissed by her “oops, sorry slut” comment though. It was at that point that I was really glad that I was in class with Calum. Gilly had been practically throwing herself at him since she’d grown boobs and I couldn’t help the sick sense of satisfaction what washed over me when I kissed him right there just to get back at her.

I laughed to myself at the memory. Even though it was boring, it had still been a pretty good day.

I almost didn’t mind that I had to walk home, almost. Luke had work after school which meant that I had to fend for myself and get home on my own. I usually kind of enjoyed walking home because it gave me some time to get over what had happened at school so that dealing with my family when I got home wouldn’t be as bad. Normally though I’d have my cigarettes, or at the very least some company.

Things at home hadn’t always been as miserable as they were now.

There was a point in time when we’d been a pretty average family. Two parents that were very much in love, two daughters who kept themselves in line and did what they were told. I wasn’t even sure when that had changed but over time that family became so dysfunctional that I didn’t want any part of it.

My parents had fallen out of love with each other, I don’t even think they knew why. It was just like one day they didn’t kiss each other good morning and they didn’t greet each other when they arrived home from work. Then Dad’s hours got longer, he wasn’t around much. I hadn’t eaten a meal with my father in at least the last two years, much less had a conversation with him.

I had idolised my older sister Ella. She was the child that every parent wanted, all they could ever ask for. She got straight A’s and graduated top of her class, she had a steady job and boyfriend and her life just seemed so perfect. It wasn’t exactly shocking that I wanted to be like her, and I tried really hard but I just couldn’t be her. We were close when we were younger but when she got accepted into one of the best university’s in the country she didn’t even hesitate to move states and leave me behind.

My parents’ patience with me seemed to leave with Ella. School wasn’t easy for me and up until then they’d tried to help as much as they could, but after she left it became too much of a hassle. I became a burden. Why couldn’t I be like Ella? I guess only one kid in each family got to be gifted and I missed out.

It could have been any combination of those three things that lead my mother to drink. I mostly blamed Dad but that might just have been because I didn’t want to think that I’d ruined another part of her life. Dad was so absorbed in his work and Ella was gone, I was the only person around to witness my mother drinking herself into a stupor. She wasn’t violent or anything like that, but that didn’t make the whole situation any easier.

I’d lost count of the nights where I’d come home and have to carry her upstairs to her room. I almost couldn’t remember what her eyes looked like when they weren’t glassy and red-rimmed. It was hard to try and have any sort of a conversation with her because she couldn’t understand or I just got too angry to keep making the effort.