To The One I Will Always Love ✔

Chapter 4: Catching Up

Edited: 11.12.2021

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Chapter 4: Catching up

A little less than a month ago I bumped into Kayleigh at the grocery store and we only started talking a couple days ago, maybe ten most. We were simply texting back and forth. It was the only regular and clear thing each day. Everything else was a blur and it was lost between reality and imagination.

I believed talking to her would have been more difficult, but it was quite relaxing in a way. It was a distraction of the common thoughts, the mourning I never seemed to leave. My days were looking a little better and I ate every meal at the kitchen table, which was a huge improvement. It was relieving to talk to someone who didn't know what I had gone through. She wouldn't look at me in pity, nor would she talk at me with pity. I didn't want that, because it was not going to help me. I realized that much now.

If my days were exceptional, I wouldn't cry at all. There would be no tear spilled. Still, facing Emily's side of the bed was difficult. I feared to collapse, to breakdown after seeing the made side. The sheets weren't ruffled from moving and the pillow didn't have a bend in it from where her head had laid. That still pained me, but I was getting somewhere.

Photos of Emily and of the two of us were standing everywhere in the apartment. Lots of them were in picture frames, standing on the windowsill or little tables. Some were still attached to the fridge or this particular wall with our memories. I didn't move any of them, cautious about having her scold me. I knew it wasn't possible, but there was still a small what if.

What if she popped her head out from somewhere and told me to put them back? What if someone was playing a disgustingly sick joke with me and she was still alive? Or what if she would haunt me and pester me about having placed our memories somewhere else? I didn't want to bring her any discomfort, never wanted to, but especially not now. She had endured so much, too much for her age.

My phone buzzed, even after the small ping. My eyes averted the bills and my pay check and fell upon the device. I placed the letters aside and reached for it, bringing it close and lighting it, so I could see the lock screen. Kayleigh's name, along with a couple of words from her text were displayed and I unlocked my phone, heading towards the text.

Kayleigh: are you home and free? Mind if I already come over?

yes, I am. I don't mind. You've my address, haven't you? :Thomas

A small smile spread across my lips. Despite I was not that eager to leave the house, I was looking forward to speaking with Kayleigh. Texting with her had become comfortable and there should be a time where I was inviting people over again. I thought it would be a good idea to have someone over, someone who didn't know what had happened months ago.

Kayleigh managed to make me smile again. She lifted my mood and I hadn't felt lighter in months, but whenever my eyes would fall upon a photo of Emily or my mind would drift off to her, my mood would plummet immediately. Thinking about her affected my mood more than anything and it was difficult to regain that lighter feeling again. Most times I turned to writing, because since last week I had picked that up again. It was difficult to start the first time, but it was going better every day.

Kayleigh: yes, I have! See you soon :)

see you soon :Thomas

My hand formed around my phone after locking it again and I took a deep breath. My heartbeat quickened in my chest. My hand became sweaty and my breathing was shallow. My eyes glanced around the table, which was scattered with papers, envelopes and pens.