To The One I Will Always Love ✔

Chapter 7: Loving You

Edited: 11.27.2021

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Chapter 7: Loving You

Sometimes grief and love were one and the same thing. I had been grieving Emily for so long, someone who I had loved so much. To me, there was no other person than her. She was my world, she made it spin. She was the centre of my universe and everything I did, I did for her. There was no other person I wanted to buy a house with, raise children with and grow old with. But she was ripped away from me and I grieved, and grieved, and grieved. I wasn't even sure I could love anymore, because all I did was grieve over the one I loved the most.

Yet that was it. I loved her so much and I didn't have her anymore. I still had her even though she was gone and she wasn't going to come back. And for that I ached.

Until I met Kayleigh. She gave me time and space. She was patient with me. She was there for me in times when I most needed it and even though I hated she needed to comfort me and make sure I wasn't going to fall into a deep trap again, I was grateful she was there. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be there if I had a choice and Emily was gone.

Still, there is a hole in my heart that could never be filled. That spot was the place Emily lived in, the place she owned, and she took it with her. It was something I would always need to live with, but the progress was there.

It was two days more than exact six months since her death and I hadn't broken down in two months once. Not once and that was an achievement. Like Emily asked me to do, I found someone who I could spend my time with. Kayleigh made my life a little easier again and when she wasn't around me, I missed her and I wished she was there or I wished to be home and have her close against me.

It was love, or at least it must be. A year ago I would associate love with Emily. Months ago, right after her death, I couldn't even think of the word 'love'. It was enough to bawl my eyes out, to scream and shout till my voice was hoarse. The word 'love' brought pain, because my love was gone. Months ago I would never have thought I would love someone who wasn't Emily. And yet, months later, here I was – loving Kayleigh.

"Hey daydreamer" Kayleigh spoke up before placing a kiss on my cheek. I blinked a couple of times as I returned back into reality. A small smile appeared on my face as my cheeks reddened to a light blush.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I questioned her. She rolled her eyes yet there was an amused smile plastered on her lips. She placed the box she was holding down on the couch and walked over towards me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and looked up at me as I swiped a piece of hair behind her ears.

"I was simply stating that was the last box." Her eyes were twinkling and a wider smile appeared on my lips. "And thank God it is. Honestly, moving is good for sorting things out. I assumed I had a lot and I dumped a lot back when we packed, but still... I brought more than I thought."

"You're just a little hoarder. That's all" I grinned at her as I pinched her sides. She squirmed out of my grasp, but my hand clasped around her wrist and I turned her back into my embrace. "Not so fast."

Kayleigh laughed lightly and she stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on my lips. When she dropped back on her feet, I followed her and connected our lips once again. My hands were cupping her face. My thumbs caressed her fine skin. One of her hands was around my neck while the other rested on my shoulder, keeping herself close. Our lips moved in familiar ways with each other and I sighed inwardly, feeling content in this very moment.

In the beginning kissing her was foreign and it had felt wrong in some ways. Even though Emily had died and she had wanted me to move on and find someone new, it felt like betrayal. I was cautious, looking out for a slap across my head or face, almost scared of being caught doing something illegal. But the strange was, it never came.