In Love With The Game (COMPLETED)

Chapter 34

#ILWTG34 Chapter 34

I didn't know it was possible for me to bury myself deeper in my work. I spent the entire Sunday reading without stopping. I just didn't want to dwell on the words that I told Yago.

I just couldn't see myself with him.

I just wanted to be honest with him.

Gusto ko lang malinaw sa kanya na ngayon, hindi ko mahanap sa sarili ko na bumalik sa kanya... Na naiintindihan ko kung saan siya nanggagaling... But that didn't change the fact that he hurt me. And I wasn't strong enough to just forget about that.

Nang maka-balik ako sa trabaho, hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses akong humugot ng malalim na hininga. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko kapag nakita ko siya ngayon. Ni hindi ko alam kung paano siya titignan sa mga mata niya matapos niyang lumuhod at magmakaawa sa harap ko.

Before, I thought seeing him beg would at least alleviate the pain... but seeing him grovel before me just reminded me of how wounded our relationship was... na kailangan niyang lumuhod para lang makinig ako... na ganoon niya ako nasaktan...

"You disappeared," he said. Halos mapa-talon ako nang makita ko si Sancho sa harap ko. Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. My eyes looked tired. I didn't cry... siguro naubos na rin iyong mga luha ko. But I knew that my eyes looked tired. It felt like I returned to the time when I could sleep because the thought of him haunted me day in and day out. Only now, I didn't wonder about why he left... I wondered about what would've happened if only he trusted me enough...

Nanghihinayang.

Nasasayangan.

"I went home early," I said. Dumiretso ako sa conference room. I didn't want to work in my cubicle and risk seeing Yago. I was aware that I was too hard on him... but he made me feel like I needed to shout just so he'd listen.

Nang buksan ko iyong pinto sa conference room sa pinaka-dulo ng floor, napa-tigil ako dahil nakita ko si Jax. The table was full of papers and a platter of sandwich and he looked really stressed.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah," he replied.

Dumiretso ako. May space pa naman sa dulo nung lamesa. Tahimik namang magtrabaho si Jax and I didn't think he'd mind na dito rin ako. Puno na kasi iyong ibang kwarto. But even before I could settle down, napansin ko na naka-sunod pa rin sa akin si Sancho. This man... 'di talaga siya titigil! Ang kulit!

"What do you want?" tanong ko sa kanya para tigilan niya na ako. May sinend na agad na files sa akin kanina si Atty. Laurel and I wanted to get on it as soon as possible. I wanted her to think that she didn't make a mistake nang i-assign niya sa akin iyong kaso.

"Did Yago beg?"

Huminga ako nang malalim. "Yes," I said and then looked at Jax for his reaction. He quickly averted his gaze... and that told me that he knew about what happened last Saturday. Of course he knew. He's Yago's best friend.

"He... He finally told me why he left."

Jax and Sancho were both quiet. Ibinaba ko iyong mga kamay ko para hawakan. I could feel my hands trembling. I just tremble at the thought of him.

Naghintay ako para may magtanong sa kanila, pero walang gustong magsalita. Para bang hinihintay nila ako na magpatuloy... pero hindi ko alam kung ano iyong sasabihin ko. Kasi alam ko na may mali din ako. That I heard him, but I didn't really listen...

But I couldn't understand him.

I couldn't understand why he didn't just tell me.

Was I that impulsive for him to decide on that alone?