A Fickle Affair

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning the nurse comes in and checks my vitals. She hands me my breakfast and takes care of some things around my room while I eat. When I'm done, she takes the tray and leaves the room. When the doctor came in, she told me that it would help me a lot to get my thoughts out and start writing in a journal. I call mom and tell her that the doctor suggested one and she said she would bring one for me.

A couple of hours later, Jax walks into my room. Great. Just what I don't need. "Hey Cami." he says. "Hey Jax. What do you want?" I asked, not looking at him. "Your mom asked me to drop this by for you." he says, handing me the bag. "Thanks." I say looking at the beautiful leather journal mom sent me. "Are you okay?" he asked. Sighing I say "I don't know Jax. I really don't know." He sits on the side of my bed and takes my hand. "Why were you doing it?" he asked. "It doesn't matter, Jax. Just don't worry about it. I won't be doing it again." I tell him, looking at my hands. He takes my face in his hands and says "Sweetheart, you don't need to be doing that shit." before he kisses my forehead. "Jax, you don't understand. None of you do." I say. "Explain it then." he says. "Jax, I grew up seeing nothing but skinny porn stars and croweaters and seeing how you guys are all over them while I'm not skinny. Then I keep seeing the text from Nate telling me how fat I am and how disgusting I am. I am not like them Jax and I thought that if I were skinny like them that maybe someone would want me." I explain. "Cami, you don't understand. You are perfect. Do you know how long I have wanted to kiss you like I did at the shop? I've wanted to for a long time but you were with that asshole and he was treating you like shit. Cami, I want to be with you and I promise never to treat you like that. Just please give me a chance to prove it to you." he pleads. "Jax, Opie asked me the same thing. I won't come between the two of you. I care about you both too much to." I say. "Just think about it okay?" he asked. "I will." I say. He sits with me in silence for a little longer and when his phone rings, he answers it. "Yeah, I'll be there in a few." he says. Turning to me he says "Club calls. I'll check on you later okay." He leans down and kisses me softly before heading out the door.

That evening, the nurse came in with my discharge papers in hand. Mom had arrived and we left the hospital. Walking into my house, mom follows me and we sit on the couch and start talking. "Baby please don't do that again. There is nothing wrong with you." she says. "I won't mom. I promise. Trust me. I have heard enough about it from you, Jax and Opie." I tell her. "Mom, what do I do? Opie and Jax both came to see me. They were asking about me giving them a chance. I don't know if I can choose between them." I tell her. "Then you need to just sit them both down together and tell them how you feel and set some ground rules until you decide." she says. "That's not a bad idea. I better call them and do this before I chicken out." I tell her. She leaves and I pick up my phone and text Jax and Opie. Can you both come over? I need to talk to you both. I text. They both text back that they will be there in just a few.

Ten minutes later I hear the two bikes pull up. I let them in and tell them to sit down. "I need you both to listen to me. I have been a complete wreck since this Nate shit. All I keep hearing in my head are the words that Nate said in his text. It doesn't help when I am constantly surrounded by fucking croweaters and porn stars knowing that they are all over you two. As far as you two go, I love you both. You have been my best friends since we were babies and I don't want to lose that. You both have asked me to think about giving you a chance. But the thing is that I can't." I say. "Why not?" Opie asked. "Because, you two are not only my best friends but you are also brothers. I won't be the one to come between you two. I can't do that. I thought about things while I was in the hospital. Until you both kissed me, I never thought of either of you as more than my best friends. But both kisses felt right. But I can't choose. I can't do for you what the croweaters and porn stars can. I just can't. They can do things for you that I can't. I don't look like them. You both deserve someone that you can be proud to have on your arm. Do you know what the croweaters say about me when you aren't around? They ask how you two can want to be around someone my size. Do you want that constantly being thrown at you? I don't. I hate the way I look. I hate knowing that I will never look like those girls so I know there's no way you guys can see me that way." I tell them. "Can we speak now?" Jax asked. So I let them speak. "We talked about this. For a while. We both want to be with you and we both think that you are beautiful and we would both be proud to have you beside us. The croweaters all feel threatened because they know we would choose you over them anyday. As far as the porn stars go, do you know what they say behind your back? They talk about how you don't treat them like whores. You ask about their day and about their kids. You treat them like people. They respect you." Jas says. "We talked about being with you so we have an idea. Date us both. We are not asking you to choose one of us right now. Spend time being our girlfriend and then after a while, then maybe you will be able to decide which one of us you feel right with. No pressure. No nothing. Just spending time together. Going on dates and being with us." Opie says. "What about parties?" I asked. "Depends who asks you out first." Jax says. "What about if I do choose one of you? What then?" I asked. "The other will step back. We won't let it come between us." Opie says. "Okay. What about sex? What about runs?" I asked. "We are only faithful to you. Even on runs." Jax says. So I decide that they have an answer for everything, let's see how they handle this one. "Okay. One more question. What happens if I choose both of you?" I ask. They both smile and say, "Then no one gives a crow but we just keep things how they are. Just dating both of us." Jax answers. "Okay." I say. "Okay?" They both ask. "Yeah. Okay." I say. "But tonight, you guys gotta let me get some sleep. I haven't slept very well since I have been in the hospital." I say. They both walk to me and kiss me softly before leaving me alone for the night. This should be interesting.