More than bestfriend

Chapter 24

Everybody was singing the Happy Birthday song to Newwie when his colleagues came out with a birthday cake as his birthday gift. It was a two tier cake with polar bear decorations. Hin was laughing and clapping his hands while singing along to the song. He looks happy. I was standing at the back, recording him with my phone.

"P Tay, you can go over there and join him, I'll record it for you" Singto who was also recording came to my side and offered to help me

"It's okay, i want to record him myself" i declined his offer. I want to record his happy moments by myself.

Newwie held a private birthday party for all of his close friends at a desert based restaurant. Of course. He wanted his parents to come but they have a business trip. New was sad but he didn't tell them. I couldn't say anything to him either so i just let him cool off by himself.

After singing happy birthday, his friends made a little speech for New for his birthday and then we all went to the table to eat. I was sitting on the chair, waiting for New to finish mingling and talking with his friends. It was rare for me to see him like this. I mean socialising with people because he's usually antisocial. Maybe it's because its his birthday and the people present here is only his close friends.

"Uncle Tay" a little voice suddenly appear beside me. It was Mae Yui's children.

They were asking me to teach me how to play the new games that they just downloaded. At first i was teaching them how to play the games, but in the end, i ended up downloading the games on my phone and playing it with them. The kids were beating me like a pro.

As i was still playing with the kids, New suddenly came to me with a plate of desert on his hand and sat on my lap.

"Is there not enough chair in this room?" I said while pinching his waist lightly

He didn't reply me, instead he leaned his back onto me and closed his eyes, pretending to fall asleep. I clicked my tounge at him and pinched his thigh. He just laugh and continued eating the desert that he brought. My arms unconsciously wrapped around his waist and i continued playing games with the kids. Everyone was minding their own business, talking and socialising with the person beside them. Nobody even cared that this grown up birthday boy was eating without any care while sitting on top of my lap. Sometimes, i would unconsciously lift Hin closer to me when i feel him falling off my lap and still nobody said anything, even the kids next to me is still playing with his games. This felt nice.

"You both look a lot like hubby and baby" Hin's friend suddenly said to us. She was smiling in a teasing manner

New just smiled shyly and leaned closer onto me and as usual i just laughed awkwardly at her words. Wishing what she said could actually be true.

How i wish

~

After his birthday event, we went back to his condo. I intend to help him bring his presents upstairs to his condo and go back to my own but New insisted me to stay, i don't want to yet here i am, sitting on his couch, watching him arranging his presents. The radio were playing soft slow songs as it was nearing midnight already. I leaned my back onto the couch, waiting for him to finish. Hin suddenly turn his face to look at me and went towards me. He looks at me for awhile and then suddenly held his hands out to me.

"What?" I said to him, not getting what he wants

He just clicked his tounge at me and grab my hands to stand up. I went still as he put my arms around his waist and then wrapped his arms around my shoulder. I was still stiff at his sudden action.

"You are a ngo" he whispered softly while laughing

(Ngo means stupid in Thailand)

I didn't reply. I just gave him a smile as i pull him closer to me. Swaying softly to the rhythm of the song.

"How are you going to have a lover if you are this oblivious" he whispered as he leaned his forehead to mine for a brief moment, giving me a soft smile and went to lay his head on my shoulder.

I didn't say anything. We continued swaying softly. One of my hand was caressing his head gently while the other was wrapped around his waist.  I inhale deeply, smelling his intoxicating scent that always seems to calm me down. I sighed. My heart was heavy.

Why are we so complicated?

I don't know what to reply him. I don't know what to say to him. At times i would feel like there was a chance for me to be with him but everytime that happens, there will always be something that holds me back from wanting to be with him.

"You're not gonna have a lover before me right?" He said softly after a while, tightening his arms around my shoulder, as if he's afraid that i would leave him

There he goes again, with his confusing actions and confusing words. It's like he wants me to have a lover but don't want me to let him go. I don't understand him.

Why are you so confusing?

"I don't know Hin" i said sighing

I truly dont know if im gonna have a lover before him. Maybe it's him who's gonna have a lover before me. But either way, im still gonna be hurting.

Sometimes, i would  cuss at the universe for letting us meet. If i didn't meet him, this all would never happen. I won't get hurt. Sometimes i would ask the gods why. Why make me have feelings for him if he can't return it back to me. But even after all of this, i didn't regret any of it. Because if i didn't meet him, i would never experience how does it feel to love someone this deep, i would never experience the tingly feelings you get when you're close to someone you love and most of all, if i didn't get the chance to meet him, i would never experience all of the happy moments i have with him for the past six years. I think that would be my greatest regrets if i didn't experience it all yet in the end, no matter how big is my love for him, we are still going go on our own ways. I know that Hin wanted to have childrens of his own. He told me. I couldn't ruin that for him.

We are like parallel lines, always close...but could never be together

My mood drastically went downhill thinking of this. How stupid am i to imagine my future with him. In the end, even if we can be together, i would still have to let him go. I can't be selfish and not let him build his own family.

In the end, I still can't have you

"Maybe one day, we'll go on our own way..." My voice was stuck

"...but just know that I'll always be there for you"

The room was silent for awhile except for the song playing on the radio. We didn't say anything to each other. I didn't even realise that we had stopped swaying and just standing there hugging each other. I leaned my head on his hair, my hand that was initially caressing his hair was now rubbing on his back softly. I sighed for the umpteenth time.

Even if we can't ever be together, let me just pretend that we are untill you are not in my arms anymore.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey guys! Sorry for the late updates and i just wanna tell you all that there are a few chapters left until this fic ends :'( huhu, it's not that I can't continue it but if i dragged the story too long, you all will get bored reading it

Ps: stay healthy 💕 oh and im gonna use ngo everytime they wanna say stupid bc it felt more like their conversation hehehe