Writers block

Whats real and whats not

I had a dream:
Sometimes they are nice, funny, weird, scary,sad..
Sometimes they are more meaningful than a simple 3 second thought we have in our imagination while we sleep.

I had a dream,

A dream you left this world. I had a dream where my life kept going without you. No explanation to your death; just a simple phone call. It was sad but no one stopped to go see you. No one thought about calling family about you. I had to call my mom once I woke up to make sure it wasn't real. I messaged you knowing what time it was and the 8 hour difference but I needed to know you were safe and okay. I needed to know. You messaged me later with good things. A relief.

I had a dream,

That the most important father figure in my life left this world. There was no phone call or contact to you. My life kept going with the guilt that you left this world with me to have no one. It was the most heart breaking deaths I've felt in my life. Waking up asking myself why does it feel real. I saw you today well and alive. Still working as hard as you do in your barber shop. Keeping my grandmother happy and safe. You were here, well and alive.
*3 days later*

I woke up today feeling something sick. Something wasn't in place. Went to go see my grandparents and you called me. It had been a while since I'd seen you. It was a while since we talked. I answered to terrible news... your father had passed due to a heart attack. We knew of his history with drugs.. we thought it was over. Until the doctors called with the news. You were crying saying you needed me. You felt alone. No one but you had gone up to see his body to confirm it. Every face I saw walking in the halls, seeing you.. knowing what was to come.. the truth was in their eyes... he left this world with you holding it.
Seeing him laying there was hard.. having you to say goodbye hurt me..

You can never get the heartbreaking sound of hearing the tears for a lose loved one out of your head. He may have not been the best thing you've had but he was still family. It's exactly how I felt about my dream with my father. The waiting for all the phone calls to come with the news he's gone.. you were left with the responsibilities of doing the funeral. He didn't even have his ID on him. But we all knew who he was. We met a few times, he wasn't much to me but he meant everything to you. You still had the love of a daughter in you from a little girl, you were hurting...

I had a dream, and most of my dreams are more than just a figment of my imagination. Normally signs for the future. I've had friends I no longer talked to at the time just pop up in my dreams to just chat and make amends. But these dreams never have a happy ending before I wake up... and usually once they come true the happy ending doesn't come along with it either. I've had dreams about my significant others in my past that turned into nightmares where they needed to leave even if they didn't take me with them. Days later it would happen. Sometimes my dreams are just reminders of the past and what they would be today if I didn't speak up about what was hurting me. I'd still have the monster in my life living a happy life with my mother as I sit here and suffers with the pain he caused me.
Not every dream involves a figment of your imagination

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I wrote this back in December 23,2018
I haven't wrote anything new lately due to the lack inspiration I have.. I'm sorry some of my things aren't up to date with my life currently. Part of it being I'm still working on myself and moving forward with life. Figuring out what people I allow in my life and who I shouldn't. I'm still learning my life lessons, high school may be over but the lessons never end. I hope you enjoy