The Quiet Kid: (choni)

30: Seventeen

CHERYL POV:

It's been 6 years since Toni killed himself. I haven't told Nicole that, she's 11. She has been having a hard time with all of this, the older she gets and the more she knows. We moved back to riverdale. We've been living in a small apartment it's good. We don't really need anything else. I haven't found love, I don't think I want to. "Mom." Nicole walks over to me and sits in front of me. She looks like she's about she's about to vomit. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "I know you're going to be ok with this, and I know I shouldn't know this for a fact because I'm not 100% sure  about this but I think I might be gay." She confesses. "Ok." I take her hands. "You're still my daughter. I've told you a million times that you can be who ever you want to be and do whatever you need to discover yourself. Just don't do anything that will hurt you or anyone around you." I whisper. She nods. "Can you not tell anyone."

"How are you guys?" Sarah lets us in. "Hanging in there." I hug her. We head into the kitchen. I don't know if it's weird that we're still close with Sarah, we just have a bond over Toni. "How are you doing?" Sarah ask me quietly. "I don't know. It's been a while but it still hurts." I say quietly. "You've been strong for Nicole. It's ok to feel week sometimes." She whispers. "Can we please stop talking about dad?" Nicole ask quietly. "That's why." I say quietly. Sarah nods. We sit down and eat dinner. We talk about everything. I walk into his old room, still has a faint smell of his teenage years. Everything is the same, it's like time stopped in his room. I close the door and sit on his bed. I take in the smell. His room was so small, I never really got why. I like I do but I don't. I take out on of his sweatshirt and throw it on. "Toni." I start crying.

"Give this to her when she's ready." Sweet pea hands me Toni's serpent jacket. "It still smells like him." I whisper. "I kept it in the same box for all this time." He whispers. "He never wanted to be in the serpents, but he still was our his family." I nod. "Whenever she's ready. You can give her the jacket and tell her not to join the gang or don't give it to her at all." He tells me. I pull him into a hug. "I still don't like you." I whisper. I leave and go home to Nicole. Somehow I can keep her alone at home. "Hey mom. Where were you?" She ask quietly. "I had a thing." I put the jacket in my closet in my room. I don't think I can look at it again though. "What's that?" Nicole ask quietly. "A jacket. It's nothing." I shoe her off. "Go to bed you have school tomorrow." The door bell rings for some reason. I go and open it. "Betty what- what are you doing here?" I ask quietly, she looks like she's been through hell. "I found this." She hands me a book. "How did you find this?" I ask quietly. She hands me a map of riverdale with a circle around where Toni left this book for me to find so many years go. "It was left on my front door." She whispers. "I would read through it. He loved you so much." I nod. "Yeah I will. Thank you for returning this." I did want to question why she looked through it, she probably had to to figure out who it was from. "I'll see you later." She walks away and I close the door behind me. I go into my room and read the book. The book opens on our first day we started talking.

TONI POV:

"Cheryl." I run over to her and stop her. "What do you want?" She ask clearly annoyed. I take a deep breathing. "Did you forget how to talk?" I start to feel lightheaded. I don't really know what happened next all I know I'm wake up with a slitting headache. The nurse walks in. "What happened?" I ask. "You passes out, you need to take your medication!" She puts down a cup and two pills. I forget she has my medication if I don't take it. This happens once a week. She walks out. I sit up and take my meds. God! I hate taking these. But they do help. I get up. "Ten minutes than you can move!" The nurse yells from the other room. I lie down. "You do this every week Topaz." She says. "You should know the routine." I roll over and sleep for the next ten minutes.
Cheryl." I run over to her and stop her. "What do you want?" She ask clearly annoyed. I take a deep breathing. "Did you forget how to talk?" I start to feel lightheaded. I don't really know what happened next all I know I'm wake up with a slitting headache. The nurse walks in. "What happened?" I ask. "You passes out, you need to take your medication!" She puts down a cup and two pills. I forget she has my medication if I don't take it. This happens once a week. She walks out. I sit up and take my meds. God! I hate taking these. But they do help. I get up. "Ten minutes than you can move!" The nurse yells from the other room. I lie down. "You do this every week Topaz." She says. "You should know the routine." I roll over and sleep for the next ten minutes.

"Hey, can you pick me up? I don't really know where you live still." I ask. Since 3rd grade I've been in and out of foster homes. This is my 12th. "Yeah, I'll be there in 10."  Mrs. Baker says hanging up. I sit on the stairs of this school. Luckily this time they kept me in the same town. Cheryl sits down next to me. "Did you finally remember how to talk?" She ask with way to much sass. I open my mouth to talk but nothing comes out. "You're cute." She says starting to walk away. "Your lucky I'm bi, because I'm more into girls but I make an exception for cute boys like you. Meet me at pop's tomorrow after school maybe you'll grow a pair and actually talk." She walks away. Little does she know. Mrs. Baker pulls up and I sit in the back. "Hey buddy." She turns around. "I got a call from the nurse." Great. "Are you taking all your medication?" She ask. "No. I'm weird enough." I say. "Antoinette-." I stop her . "That's not my name." I say looking out the window. "Can we just go back to your house? I don't want to talk right now." She nods and starts driving. "Call me Sarah." I've been living here for a few weeks I know where she lives I don't know why I don't just walk home. Probably so I don't pass out. "I don't think I'll be here in by the time we are comfortable with that." We get to her house. "Who was that girl you were talking to?" She says as I get out. "Cheryl. I'll be at pops tomorrow." I walk into the house and go straight up to my room. Mrs. Baker knocks on the door. "Make sure you take your testosterone." I nod. I turn to my desk and take out my notebook to draw. After a while of drawing I finally take the syringe and take the shot. "Ow, shit." I place a band aid over it. I get a call on my phone and pick it up. "Hey." I say quickly realizing who it is. "Hey, we are still on for tomorrow right?" Again open my mouth to talk but nothing comes out. "I'll text you." She hangs up and text me.

CHERYL: Tomorrow?
ME: Yeah I'll pick you up at your locker ;)

I get up and go downstairs. "Antoinette, sit down and eat." I roll my eyes. "It's Toni. How many times do I have to tell you that." I sit down at the table. "Can I ask you something?" I ask. She nods. "Ok, first, why did you decide to take me in?" I ask looking up. "My husband died and few years ago with our son. We were planning in adopt a kid and before he died I promised I would." She says. I bite my nails.

I walk in pops we decided to go separately because I had to grab something from the house. I sit down in front of her. "Hey." I say quietly. "He speaks. "Your really pretty." I blurt out. I look down playing with my hands and take deep breaths. "You're pretty handsome yourself." I turn red. "Thank you." As I say that my voice cracks. I cover my mouth. God I hate going through all of these changes. "Sorry. I'm going through some physical changes." I say quietly. "It's cool. I get it." I laugh a little. "What?" She ask. "No you don't. It's a long story that I'm not comfortable talking to you about at the moment." I say. "Oh, what was with you passing out?" She takes a fry. "I have Syncope, it causes me to do that if I don't take my medication which is at least once a week." I say nonchalantly. "How long have you lived on Riverdale?" She ask. I shrug. "Not long. Only six years. I've been in and out of foster homes. They have kept me in Riverdale because I've really liked it here and they have given me more of a say in where I live." She looks up. "Where did you live before this? If you're not comfortable talking about it..." she trails off. "Connecticut. I've been all over the place. It sucks but I get some good photos out of it." I say my voice cracks a few times throughout that. "Why?" She ask. "Because I have to change doctors all the time and it hard because I get put on waiting list and I have to stop hormones." I slip out. My eyes widened. She tilts her head. "What do you mean?" She ask. I take a deep breath. "I was born female but identify as a guy." She shrugs. "Oh my brother is trans too." She says quietly. "I get some of the struggles my parents refuse to except him. Maybe you should meet him, you guys would be good friends. He needs someone that's going through the same thing as him." I let out a breath I was holding. "I'm not saying that you have to be friends because you are both trans I'm just saying." I nod. Luckily there isn't a lot of people in Pop's just Veronica but she already knows. "I get what you mean." The bell to the dinner rings and I look up. A red headed boy who looks a lot like Cheryl walks in. He walks over to us. "Hey mom is looking for you. She's pissed." He says just above a whisper. I sink down in my seat. "Tell her I'll be there in a hour and if she doesn't like it to bad." He nods and walks out. "What?" She laughs. "He scared me today during gym." She laughs again. "That's Jason, he does that with everyone he's harmless." I nod. "I don't think we would get along." I say quietly. "He's not the brother I want to introduce you to. Jason is my twin but my older brother his name is Josh. My parents are horrible, probably not as bad as what you deal with though." I shrug. "My foster parents have never been the problem it's me having attachment problems." I say quietly. "Do you want to go back to my place?" I ask. "Maybe it will piss your parents off more and you said in a hour. So..." I trail off. "Sure."