Bizzle imagines

29. Born to die (sad,cute)

Warning: character death

I grew up believing I shouldn't love anyone, not even my parents. I thought that if I loved someone or something they would die faster and I would be heartbroken.

It seems that the less you care or love someone, the easier it is too watch them pass away. Distancing myself from others was the ticket, being alone.

Then I met Justin.

He was a high school loner who was known for his good looks. Following my rules, I stayed away from him.

I was at that age where boys are suddenly cute and your interested in them. Kicking those needs and wants away, I was a shy, antisocial, friendless, loser.

School was the worst considering your around people, you gotta talk and interact with them.

It was when Justin and I began talking and I would try my best to push him away but he wouldn't budge.

It wasn't his fault that I fell in love with him but he had a part in it. I couldn't believe it when I started having these new, odd feelings for him.

Soon I realized it was love, something I've never given my parents, siblings, no one but him.

I felt like an alien, knowing this one thing..that I was Inlove with him. If you think about life, the explanation is quite twisted.

Were born to love, to care but we die. Let's make this simple. We are born to die...sounds chilling doesn't it?

I've never lost someone before and when I lost Justin, I didn't know how to cope. I didn't know who to talk to, how to react, how to behave.

He passed away and I felt like air, just going with the flow. I had no emotion, and I was positively alone.

That's when I understood why I didn't want to fall in love. Because when they go it will hurt and it will hurt very, very badly.

Maybe I was a wimp for avoiding getting hurt, I was scared to feel the aches and pains.

When my aunt died, I wasn't sobbing and felt sick to my stomach like my mother. The reason was because I never put in work to love her.

When I started loving Justin, I couldn't stop. It felt like he was my all. My sun, moon, breath, heart. He was my everything.

And the knowing that I gave him everything, shared every secret with him, gave him things I didn't know I had.

Now it's over and those things are gone, they vanished into thin air. All the work we put into our relationship, It's done, the hard work is no longer needed.

I found out about his death the hard way. The hard way being he died right infront of me.

I can still feel the semi crashing into our car and making it roll off the highway. It felt like an amusement ride, it being terrifying than fun.

We were hanging upside down and the pain in my body was excruciating. I woke up the next day in a hospital bed. Well enough, I rushed to Justin's room.

He was beaten up pretty badly and was hooked up to all sorts of machines. The picture scared me and I had the fight or flight instinct.

I pushed my rules of loving aside and stayed by his side, watching him struggle for breath as he slept. He was suffering and It made my stomach churn with guilt.

I woke up to a machine beeping loudly and people rushing into the room. Looking up at Justin's life support machine it was flatline.

Not moving a muscle, not saying a word I watched doctors and nurses use the electric chest panels to kick start his heart.