When I See You Again (MxB)

Prologue (Faiyaz)

I was sitting in the little open balcony that looked over the beautiful garden Lo's family had in the back of their house. I had a beer bottle in my hand, it was my third. I wasn't drunk, but there was a nice buzz in my brain. I thought if I downed enough alcohol, I'll be able to forget about my fucked up life and my even more fucked up mind. I took a long swig and the first tears fell from my eyes. I was crying. I was crying for myself. For my life which was in the gutter. For my mind which had way too many demons for me to fight and for the beautiful blue eyed man sitting in his brother's room with a bottle in his hand, who would never be mine and who also happened to have my damaged, broken heart.

I had tears streaming down my face when I had a strong arm snake around my small waist and the feeling of a broad, warm chest hit my back.

"Why are you crying Fey?" I smiled through the tears at the nickname my best friend's brother had for me. Jude, my Sky, the man of my dreams since I was thirteen. I knew better than to lean into his wonderful heat but my three-bottles-of-beer induced brain told me it would be amazing, so I leaned into his chest and his arm got tight around me.

"Just thinking about my fucked up life." I quietly answered him. Basking in the smell of him all around me.

"Hey it's not that fucked up, you have me in your life." He joked as he wiped my tears away with his other hand.

He was right, he didn't know how right he was. He made my life a little bit bearable. So did his brother, who was my best friend but that was in a different way. Lo was the brother I've always had when I had no-one else, and Jude was the lover I'd give everything to have but never can.

Because I didn't deserve him.

But tonight, just this one night, I can sit in his arms and drink beer and forget about everything else. Pretend that I belonged there in his strong arms.

So I just nodded as I looked up at him. He was close. Too close for my peace of mind. His beautiful face tilted slightly as he looked down at me. The faint light of the garden fell on his perfect jaw and his full lips, his blue eyes glinted in the moonlight.

I often asked myself what would have happened if my brain had just a bit more self control. Things would have turned out differently. But I didn't. I couldn't help myself, I had to kiss him. At least once. In all my despicable life, I wanted just one taste of the man I loved.

So I kissed him.

I knew this was the first and last chance I'd ever have to kiss him, or have him this close to me. So I poured every bit of my emotions into the few seconds my lips touched his. I eagerly tasted his lips. They tasted like beer and Jude, it was the most intoxicating taste I've ever known.

I pulled away after five seconds. Whispered a broken "sorry" and tried to get away so I can go to Lo's room and pass out and get out of there before he wakes up in the morning.

But his strong arm had turned to iron and I couldn't move it. So I looked up with confusion into his eyes, and his lips crashed into mine.

I was shocked, so shocked that I gasped into his lips. His tongue entered my mouth and everything else fell around me. I often thought that if the world was ending in that very moment, I'd be happy to be in his arms as he kissed me breathless. I'd die and be over the moon that the last moments of my life were spent in his arms.