When the day met the night (Ryden)

chapter five : It Could Be Worse

Title : Saturday - FOB

RYAN'S P.O.V.

I'm sitting in the back of Jane's car with Brendon leaning on me heavily. I can't stop thinking about what he said to me. "it's just like before." I don't want to think about what that means but I can't stop.

"who were the boys? Do we know their names? Gosh I can't belive that school. 'I'm very sorry miss but since we dont know who they are we can't do anything.' Ridiculous! I mean here's a crazy idea, find out who they are!" Jane rambles to no one in particular. I sigh but can't stop the small smile appear on my face.

I feel Brendon shift next to me and look over at him. In the day light his eye shines a bright purple and I can see bruises appear on his checks and forhead

" I know I know... I'm hideous." he whispers with a grin on his face. I fight the urge to tell him how wrong he is. To tell him how he's the most beautiful person I've ever met and that every time I look at him it makes my heart do something crazy because of how fucking attractive he is.

"absolutely disgusting." I say back, smiling so he knows I'm kidding.

He laughs softly before wincing. I laugh at him and he punches my arm. I drag my eyes away from him and look forward to see Jane looking at us through the mirror. She smiling like a lunatic but looks away quickly when she sees me watching. What a weirdo.

We pull up to the house and I jump to help Brendon out of the car. We stumble into the house and take him to his room. Jane gives him a pack of frozen peas, painkillers and strict instructions to not move.

"if you need anything ask Ryan." she says, walking out the room before I can complain. I sigh, swallowing my arguments, Knowing their pointless. I start to look around the room, well brendons side. He didn't have alot but there was a FOB poster on the wall of his cupboard and i smile at it.

"what do you think of the new album?" I ask him, referring to mania.

"I think it got more hate then it deserved. They're not gonna do the same thing theyve always done. There's a solid few bops on it for sure." he says. I never really had an opinion on it before but now I do.

"I agree." I say, Looking Over at him.

He was sitting up against the bed board, trying to stay as still as possible. He has his shirt off and his bruises are prominent against his stomach. My mind wanders back to what he said and I debate whether or not to ask about it. I don't want to cross any boundaries because God knows he has them, but I don't think I can rest until I know what he meant.

"can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to... No pressure." I ask, turning back to the poster and playing with the edges of it, pulling it from the blue tac.

"yeah what is it?" he asks. He sounds scared and I immediately feel bad for even thinking about asking.

"what is it Ryan? You're freaking me out." he laughs, sitting up straighter with a wince. I shoot him a look but then stare back into Patrick stumps eyes.

"you... You said something earlier and I was just worried that maybe... Maybe this wasn't the first time you'd been... You'd been beaten up. Maybe.. At school... Or... You know." I say, dancing around my real question.

Brendon dosent say anything for a little too long and I risk a glance over at him. He has sat up now with his feet over the bed on the floor. He has his head in his hands and he's shaking. I walk over to him and kneel infront of him. I slowly reach up and take his hands from his face. They were shaking violently and I took them in my own.

"what... What did I say?" he asks, his voice shaking almost as much as he was.

"it's just like before." I say to him quietly. He takes a sharp inhale as I tell him and I squeeze his hand reassuringly. "you don't have to say anything I don't need to know its okay." i say, making sure he knew I wasn't going to force him. He shakes his head and sigh as a tear falls down his face.

"it was my dad. He... He couldn't stand that I was gay. He thought he could beat it out of me. And he really tried." he says slowly, closing his eyes tightly as he does so.

"I'm so sorry, how long?"

"three years, three years before my neighbours told child services."

I nod my head and sigh. I reach up careful and wipe the tears from his eyes. He looks up at me and a thousand words are spoken through the look. His eyes glisten with his tears and I feel the overwhelming feeling of pity. He looks down and sighs before reaching behind him and grabbing half a bottle of vodka. He looks at me suggestively and I smile eagerly, knowing both of us were desperate to forget everything about today.

He takes a swing without wincing and passes it to me. He lies back down carefully as I take my own swig. I stand up and flop down next to him. It burns but it's good. I've missed the taste. I guess I'll be sleeping tonight.

"why are you here then?" Brendon asks, using the false confidence the vodka had given him. I laugh a little and grab the bottle from him and take large gulps before telling him.

"my mums an adict. Id come home and she'd either be unconscious, not there or with one of her junkie friends. They were all so mean. They would... Do stuff when my mum was passed out." I say, lifting my hands in the air as I talked. I ran my hands over my covered arms and spiral them into patterns above my head.

"what kind of stuff?" he asks. I can feel him getting closer to me, his breath reaking of the drink.

"rape." I say. I don't think about it. I just say it. I dont think about the men who came into my room. How I wouldn't sleep in fear of them getting me while I slept. Its just a word. Its just a word.

"Holy fuck. I'm so sorry Ryan." he said, getting closer to me again so that we were side by side on his bed, our shoulders touching.

"it was years ago, I barely think about it now." lie. I know he knows it is but he dosent question it. I gesture for the bottle and he hands it to me. I take another drink and I can feel the tears fall from my eyes. I try to hold them back. He can't see me like this. Weak. He leans over and wipes my face, like I had done to his only moments prior.

I face him and I don't know if its the vodka or the vulnerable atmosphere that makes me want to kiss him. But at this point it dosent matter. I lean in and he eagerly meets me half way. Our lips collide and its slopy and messy and desperate but it's perfect. I bring a hand and cup his jaw while he wraps a arm around my waist. I smile into the kiss and slowly pull away. I rest my forehead on his and I can hear his fast breath.

"holy shit."