The Insecure Diaries According To

Stupid.

I'm stupid. Literally I'm so fuxed up.

I screwed up so bad.

I can't fix it and if I can I don't know how. I'm an ungrateful b!t¢h. Seriously I am. I always depend on others for help and I hate my "I don't give a sh!t" attitude.

To be honest, the more days that come and go the more I seem to not care. The more I realize things and the more I slowly one by one give up.

I have to sit back and watch myself get hurt because I'm hurting others and watch a close friend kill themselves slowly with a lighter and pack of cigarettes because seeing my family lose it isn't good enough I have to watch my friend do it too. Let alone I'm dying as well.

You read this and probably think "Wow her life is really messed up" or "She's never happy, She's so depressed"

(I'm not saying all of you just some maybe I don't read minds Idk)

But no, I'm not always sad, I can be happy too, like just yesterday I went with my friends to take a photo shoot at a park to get my mind off things.

But I don't know if I should leave this whole situation alone and move on or try to fix it, cause right now I'm going through a lot of pain because I keep hurting others.

My grades are going down, I'm becoming distant from my family, I'm being more ruder...(ruder? RUdeer? RUDEr? Rue-der..ROO-der? Hehe rooderp)  I've stopped caring for so many things and I've literally stopped caring for myself at this point.

This is what I get for everything I've ever done.

And its totally fine.

Cause I'm fine.

I don't know anything anymore.

         -Ryanxxx + &@;6xxx

(Thu,September 25, 2014 9:43am)