The Insecure Diaries According To

I just dont know anymore

Its 12:14 am- so...Good morning.

I'm wide awake watching Gossip Girl (Season 1 Episode 13? 14? 15?)

I'm sitting, standing, pacing around my room trying to catch my breath because I just don't know anymore. I don't know what's going on and if nothing IS going on then something is going on with me and I don't know.

I'm finding it so hard to breathe and I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm losing my friends and the people I care about. Sometimes I need people more than they would ever need me and that sucks. You know why? Because you never know if they are only staying for pitty.

My sister says when I get to high school I will find out who my real friends are, but to be honest...I don't. I don't want to know who my real friends are because then that means the people I've known to get close to will leave... and I honestly will never know if they'll all leave me, because right now.. at this point...it...it feels like they all ready have and I don't like this feeling. It feel like they all ready have because I feel like I'm losing myself-

Slowly and then maybe all at once.

And I just don't know why.

               -&@;6xxx