Head Over Leather #Wattys2017

XXXVIX. A Legacy in the Making

It's safe to say that after kicking off my senior year with a fake relationship to leave behind my legacy as editor of the Jensen High Chronicles, I've peaked.

With a groan, I push myself away from the desk cluttered with papers that were filled with endless crossed out ideas for my final edition before graduation. Besides cramming for exams, avoiding Ethan, and mending my friendships with my fake ex boyfriend's friends, it's all that's been on my mind.

"Maya, if you'd just let the idea come to you instead of forcing it, you wouldn't be frustrated." Jess interrupts my thoughts as she leans against the frame of the door to the newsroom. She pointedly raises her eyebrows, knowing all too well how long I've glued myself to this seat and refused to move until the perfect idea came to me.

Spoiler: It never did.

"Well the last time I let a story fall into my lap, I ended up dating Ethan, so excuse me if I'd like to not take up any more chances with the universe." I finish with a huff, crossing my arms over my chest like the whiny child that I am.

"He asked about you again today."

I don't bother looking up at Jess who's now perched on the edge of my desk and instead fixate my gaze on my binder which has every copy of newspapers I've published. School has been back in session for about two weeks now and I haven't spoken to Ethan since our last encounter. Sure, our eyes will accidentally meet when I pass him in the hallways and he'll part his lips to say something, but I always manage to turn away just in time because I'm tired of listening. I'm tired of wanting him. I'm tired of loving him.

"He asks about me everyday. He just needs to let it go." I mutter bitterly, before standing up and slinging my bag over my shoulder just as the bell rings. Jess' eyes twinkle with pity, but it disappears just as quickly as she plasters a smile on her lipstick coated lips. Her arm stretches out towards me and I can't help but smile as I fit myself under her arm, nudging my head against hers.

"Can you believe in a few weeks time we'll be off to college leaving behind our previous Chronicles?" She whispers softly and I can tell by the way her voice cracks that she's not at all trying to lighten the mood but rather confessing something that's been playing on both our minds.

"Don't get sappy on me now. Let's get to lunch, dork."

~~~

"Are you fucking serious, Rachel? How could you do this?!"

This seems oddly familiar. Glancing around, I notice the entire student body gathering around Ethan's lunch table as he slams his hands down, eyes dark with anger, and jaw clenched so hard I'm afraid it might break. Rachel leans back with a smirk, manicured nails moving to flick her fringe from her eyes as her lip dark red lips curl up into a mock sweet smile. "I hate to burst your bubble, but pregnancy tests just tell you if you're pregnant. No hints about the baby daddy. My bad." She finishes off with a shrug, an action that causes Ethan to forcefully push himself off the table and step back as if he's been burned.

"My bad, huh?" Ethan mutters under his breath, just loud enough for a few people in close proximity to hear. He sounds so defeated and it's just then I notice the dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair, almost hollowed cheeks that make his jawline far more prominent than need be. There's nothing more that I want than to reach out to him.

But I can't.

Instead, I force myself to turn away from the scene and squeeze myself between the crowd of students to get to my next class.

***

"S'cuse me! Outta the way!" Every person I dodge tosses me a confused look, wondering in gods name where I could be rushing off to but I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed to get to the newsroom.

Just as I swerve into the room, Jess appears in the doorway causing us to groan in pain as we butt against each other. "You texted me SOS yet I'm the one here first!" Jess emphasizes, eyes wide, as she rubs her chest to ease the soreness of our impact. Rolling my eyes, I gently brush past her, making my way over to the front of the room to set up the smart board.

"I couldn't sleep last night. Everything just kept playing over and over again. This whole year. Everything. So I stayed up to do this." I'm sure I'm hardly sounding coherent, so I switch on the board to reveal my night's work. I can see Jess' face light up as she stares at the board in awe, hazel brown eyes scanning each and every detail of the PowerPoint slide. I know what she's feeling, because it's exactly what I felt when I'd come up with the idea. It was like an overwhelming surge of nostalgia and pride all the same.

"The newspaper has always been our thing. Sure, we have other people on staff and guest writers here and there. But it's ours. Always has been. And I've been so focused on that. Thinking what should I do for the last edition to make it special. What we need to do. But I had it all wrong." My bottom lip finds it's way between my teeth as I pause for a moment looking for the right words to explain all the emotions that went into this brainstorming process but it really all just boils down to all the emotions I've felt this year.

"We need to stay true to the Jensen High Chronicle. That's why I'm letting Jensen High write it. Obviously I want to focus on seniors. Their take on high school, what these past four years meant to them, I want it all. Raw and authentic. And I want them to be able to write their own stories. What do you think?" There's a part of me that's almost dreading her reaction, but Jess and I have been inseparable for as long as I can remember. We're essentially one soul and there's an even bigger part of me that just knows what she's thinking.

"You have no idea how kick-ass this will be, Maya." Is all she says before pulling me into a tight embrace, causing us to burst into a fit of giggles.

Maybe I haven't peaked just yet.