I'm Your Secret Admirer

35: I'll Take The Blame

 OMG YAY VAMPIRE DIARIES IS BACK GUYS! VAMPIRE DIARIES OMG!<3 I've already watched ahead online the first two episodes of season 4 and they both got me in tears already omg! But I cried so hard in the second episode at the end when Alaric showed up and goes 'I miss you too buddy' omfg. *cry cry cry* I FREAKIN' MISS ALARIC SO BAD ON THE SHOW, ITS UNREAL:'(

Aha, so sorry for my emotions, I just... zjifheaidjf the show is just so damn amazing! Anyone else a massive fan too? ^.^

No? Okay... aha, I know that was probably random so I should stop talking now. Yeah, okay so without futher-ado.... Here's chapter 36:)

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CHAPTER 35

Niall's P.O.V

Okay so I've been working on this love song all week now, even the weekends but I’m still not done yet.

As much as I want this to be done, I also want it to be perfect.

Perfect enough for my princess.

And I know, I have been keeping my distance with Alyssa lately, but I do hope she'll understand that I only did it to work on this song for her. So I hope she doesn't think I’ve been ignoring her, because I haven’t... I just don't want her to know about the song yet until I get to sing it to her. Otherwise it just wouldn't be a surprise for her.

Sitting in my last lesson for the day, I waited five more minutes before hearing the final bell ring as I practically jumped out from my seat and ran out of the school building with my bags, wanting to get home as soon as possible to finish off the song by tomorrow.

But just before I was about head off, I heard her voice call after me from behind as I slowly turned to find Alyssa already beside me.

Not with a smile... but more of a hurtful expression on her face.

Immediate concern flooded through my system as I stepped forward, towards her.

"Alyssa, what's wrong?" I questioned.

"What’s wrong?" She mimicked sarcastically as if she was taken aback at how clueless I was right now.

"You know what’s wrong!" She stated afterwards as I looked at her quite puzzled.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"You broke your promise Niall!" She finally replied back, as I could already hear her voice starting the shake.

"You promised you wouldn't change, didn't you? Remember?" She told me as I looked down at her.

"Yeah.." I stated, knowing that I did keep that promise.

"But you broke it! You've changed completely now!" Alyssa stated as my mouth dropped in complete and utter shock.

"What are you on about?" I question her, not liking how this was going so far.

"I tried not to make a big deal out of this, but you just keep changing. In one week you've completely changed and I know you may not see it because you think you've just matured or whatever, but I see it and its hurting me, it's hurting me to watch my best friend change" She informed me the unknown news about how she felt.

"No, no, no... I haven’t changed Alyssa, trust me" I tried ensuring her but she wouldn't believe me.

"But you HAVE though Niall!" She told me.

 
"No, Alyssa look I'm still the same me. I'm still the same Niall" I told her whilst taking her hand and placing it onto my beating heart as our eyes connected for a second here. But then after a few moments of silence, she pulled her hand away.

"This" She said whilst taking my snapback off to ruffle my hair before continuing to talk,

"Isn't you."

"And neither is any of this" she pointed at my clothes as I looked down at myself.

"Yes, but I'm still the same me under all of this" I told her but she simply shook her head at my statement about that.

"No you don't get it do you? You've changed from the inside too... it's like I don't know you anymore" She told me, as a twang of pain hit me as soon as I saw how awfully upset she was about this.

Woah, she really did think I have changed didn't she?

But I haven’t...

"Why have you been ignoring me Niall?" Alyssa asked me quite straight-forwardly.

"I haven’t" I muttered.

"Yes you have! Whenever I try talking to you, you don't seem to make the effort to talk much back. You're always doing something without me now, and whenever I see you... you're with that group of girls all the time" She told me.

"No, they just keep clinging onto me"

"Yeah, I know... I can clearly see that, but I can also see that you don't really bother to get away from them like you do whenever you're with me" She said this as if this had really hurt her the most.

"That’s not true and you know it" I stated.

"Do I? Because it feels like our friendship means nothing to you anymore, now that you're not a 'nobody' around here anymore."

Instantly I fell silent after that one sentence.

What should I say? I mean, of course our friendship means everything to me... it's just that I’m working on getting away from that friend-zone.

"I mean, call me crazy but it's like you keep putting up these walls between us now! You never seem to give me any answers anymore... like the other day when I asked about that notebook you were writing in" She suddenly brought back up as I remained silent once again.

"See What I mean? Why can't you just give me some answers Niall, you're my best friend and at the moment I'm lost with all of these questions I'm dying to get answers from" She admitted as I bit the side of my lip from saying anything.

Feeling really bad about this, I then decided to finally take the blame for this anyway, even though she totally misunderstood everything that's happened this week, I decided it would be easier to say she's right, and to apologize just so I wouldn't have to tell her the surprise I’ve been planning for her all week.

"You know what, you're right Alyssa. And I'm really sorry" I told her honestly as she looked at me for a second.

At the moment, I honestly thought she was going to forgive me, but unlike herself today... She did something not even I would've expected her to say after my apology.

"Well I'm sorry too Niall...." She started off as I waited for her to continue, only to be heart broken about what she had to say next.

"But sorry isn't good enough anymore now" She finished off before walking away, leaving me to stand there, both speechless and hurt.