Pillow Talk | Joanne One Shot Series

True Colours

"Joseph Graham Sugg!"

Joe turned around, eyes wide, as he noticed Dianne stood in the corner of the room, mouth almost on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

Joe lowered his leg from where he had been holding it, looking guiltily at his girlfriend.

"You, uh. You weren't supposed to see that."

Dianne rolled her eyes. "I guessed that. But you haven't answered my question. What were you doing?"

Joe ran his hand through his hair, before sheepishly meeting her eyes. "I was, uh, biting my toenails."

Dianne retched. Joe wasn't entirely sure if it was real or fake.

"That's disgusting." She backed towards the wall of their bedroom, arms folded in front of her. "How... I don't know if I want to know this, but I'm going to ask anyway. How long have you been doing that for?"

Joe felt his neck tingle, a blush creeping over him. "Erm, a long time? I've kind of always done it. This is just the first time you've caught me. I know it's gross. Sorry."

Dianne shook her head and walked a few steps back towards the door.

"I don't know if I'm glad I know that, or if I'm disturbed" she said quietly, looking her boyfriend up and down as she hovered in the doorway. "That's the most disgusting habit I think I've ever heard of."

Joe nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. Come here." He held his arms out for Dianne, but she stayed put. He looked at her, confused.

"Joseph, if you think I'm going anywhere near you after what I've just seen you do, you've got another thing coming."

"I've said I'm sorry. Look, I'll stop. It's... it's like biting my fingernails. But on my feet. I know it's disgusting, but it's something I've always done. I'll fix it. For you. I promise."

Dianne stared at him. "You are not the man I thought you were. You reeled me in with your nice clothes and nice hair. You smell good and you're a nice person and you're attractive. I fall in love with that man and then boom. Surprise! He bites his own toenails." She sighed. "I knew this was too good to be true."

Joe pouted. "I said I'll stop. Can you forgive me?" He stood up, walking closer, fluttering his eyelashes. "Can you learn to love me again?"

Dianne smiled, but held her hand up as Joe approached her. "I can. Probably. But if you think you're putting your mouth anywhere near me, I'm going to need you to disinfect. That's gross, Joe. How many times have I come to bed and kissed you goodnight after you've had your own toe in your gob?!"

Joe shook his head. "I don't want to tell you. Because the answer is probably more than zero."

Dianne took his hand, walking them both towards the bathroom. "I feel dirty. I need to clean my mouth too now. Have you got, like, industrial strength mouthwash somewhere? Or vodka? I feel like that would burn through it. Actually, maybe bleach is more appropriate."

Joe laughed. Dianne stared at him. "I'm serious. I feel like I want to pull my own tongue out and scrub it. And then do the same to yours."

The two of them walked towards the sink. Joe pulled out a bottle of mouthwash and put toothpaste on both their toothbrushes. They brushed their teeth next to one another.

Once Dianne was finished, she smiled at Joe. "This could be a really romantic and domestic moment if it hadn't been for what I've just witnessed."

Joe laughed, toothpaste still around his mouth. Dianne took a huge swig of mouthwash, gargling it and washing it around her mouth. Once she had spat it out, she did it again.