[Star Trek: Discovery] A Larger Picture (Un Disegno Più Grande-English Version-)

Ep. 2 "New Eden" (pt. 5)

~Chris~

I'm in the ready room, I've been out of the sickbay for an hour. I can barely stand up, broken ribs are the hell.
The bell rings.
-Come in!
Grace enters, she is beautiful. Although seven years have passed, I find her as beautiful as the first time I saw her. Maybe she is ... more and more beautiful.
- Did you want to see me Chris?
-Grab a sit! And please, don't make me laugh.
- You deserve it. So you stop taking Phaser shots to save others! You won't always have excellent doctors who save your life!
She makes me laugh, but the pain stops me.
She looks at me and smiles. -Better keep quiet!- and she sit down.
-Kyd ... I wanted to thank you for maintaining general order 1, despite ... my disability. And by disability I mean a phaser shot in the chest.
-Chris, you are my captain. And I could never go against an order from my captain. Without considering that ... I should have been in sickbay now. Thank you..
- Kyd, believe me ... there is not an officer of this ship for which I wouldn't take a gunshot. Especially if that officer is you.
She stare lost. I can still read her. -Is it all right? -, I ask her.
- I can't stop thinking about the mission. There is one thing that... I should tell you.
-What?
-I'm sorry for undermining your authority in that way ... I didn't have to do it, especially in front of Howosekun.
-It doesn't matter. I understand that it is difficult to maintain the hierarchy after what... we have spent together...
-I have to do it. You're my captain first of all. And normally I find hard to keep quiet if I don't share something.
I smile. -I know how you are. And luckily for you I respect contrary opinions.
She smiles at me too. -I'll be more careful, I promise.
-I talked to Burnham. The angel we saw on Terralisyum is the same one she saw when she got stuck on the asteroid.
-It can't be a coincidence...
-Sure. Two signals and twice the red angel. It is certainly real.
-Chris... calling him an angel has implications.
-Is that so?
-I don't know what it is, but it's not an angel.
-For the inhabitants of this planet, the experience of Burnham would be a revelation.
-A revelation? Is that what you call it?
-I can start from considering it a revelation...-. I get to my feet, and it's very difficult. I lean against the window and catch my breath. -This new information enriches the context. The context changes our perspective.
She joins me and looks out the window. -And Jacob? In what context does he fit? He knows in his own heart who we are, Chris. And we decided to lie to him. We could resolve a mistery that has plagued his family for two hundred years. Se could change his perspective...
-I also feel sorry for him Kyd. But I can't go against the general order 1 for a man's wishes and you know it well!
She looks into my eyes. I know she is going to make me a proposal that will change my perspective. She always do it.
- Not for him. I have a better reason: the soldier's helmet. He resumed what happened. Chris, in my opinion, our mission is in contrast to the general order 1. We should understand what happened in that church two hundred years ago...
I know she is right after all. She takes my hand.
-But this is a decision that only a captain can make...
I look down, and I think.
-I'll think about it Grace ...
-Well ... and now spill the beans!
-What?
- It's been years but I think I'm still reading you quite well... there's something you don't want to tell me... or at least, you'd like to vent about something!
-It's not true!
-Yes it is... come on Chris...
I smile. -Okay okay... but let's sit on the sofa, if I'm standing I feel like I have a knife in my side...
We approach the sofa, and try to bend over to sit down.
-Let me help you!
I shake my head, and do it alone.
-Of course... as usual you have to be proud... also with broken ribs!-, he continues to tell me, smiling at me.
-Damn! I can't even sit down! We are in the 23rd century, nobody has invented a damn way to heal completely a rib cage?
-Hey! Treat with more respect those who save your life!
-You are one of the best Starfleet doctor, but you couldn't find a way not to make me suffer!
-You know, from my latest research it emerged that after a few days the aching ribs don't feel anymore!
I make a big smile, it's the best I can afford.
For a moment it seemed to me that I was still on Yorktown, making our old games... it was... strange.
We remain silent for a few seconds, then she looks at me. I know he won't leave until I speak. And maybe, venting me will only do me good.
-I thought of my father... during the Terralysium mission. His... his teachings were useful for the first time...
-Have you seen him anymore?
-A couple of times, but officially. Never more than "how are you". He is out of my life now... He always has been.
-The strangest experiences remind us of things we hadn't thought of for a long time...
-I thought about the last period, when... when my mother died... I don't know... I am overwhelmed by memories... more negative than positive...
She puts his hand on my knee, as if to support me.
-She spent the last two months of her life in a room at the Fleet Medical Center... and my father had been on licence for that period. I lokeed for her and Tom, trying to make the situation easier for everyone... and my father did nothing... he was there, but he wasn't there...
I sigh, I look for the strength to pull everything out.
-He was working sitting on the desk of that blessed room... he never asked my mother if she needed anything, he never had a word of comfort for me, he never brought Tom out of that hospita ... nothing...
-Maybe he didn't know how to approach you... he was always away...
-No Kyd. I stopped making excuses. He and my mother had been separated at home for a long, maybe since Tom's birth, if not before. He probably had a life outside, he didn't care about her, he left alone her and his children. At that moment he was there because he had to be there... and... it hurts to remember...
-I... I don't know what means to grow up without a father Chris, but one thing I can tell you... you're a better man than him. Think about it.
I look into her eyes, and there I find strength and balance... for a moment, I lose myself. They have that nutty hue, which becomes almost an amber color with soft light, it's the color I've always loved. I realize that they have a different expressiveness than when I had lost myself last time seven years ago... they still bright with intelligence and curiosity, with sensitivity... but they are sad... I can read the pain.

-Ensign Tilly to Dr. Howell.
The young girl's voice interrupts the silence between the two of us.
-Here Howell!
-We're going to the party, are you coming? Come on, you can't miss it! It's not a party without you!
I laugh but once again I am stopped by pain.
-No Tilly I'm sorry, I'm really exhausted. It will be for the next one.
-All right, we're there if you change your mind... Tilly closes!
I smile. - Are you still the life of the party? -, I ask her.
-Let's say that... I still enjoy parties. Even if I'm a little old and I can't hold tons of liquors now.
-But if you're just thirty!-, I reply. She laughs, and I follow her, or at least, I try.
-Keep calm, the more you are at rest, the sooner it pass.
-Sorry, but I was thinking about how many of them we had at Yorktown!
The happiness of those days fills my heart.
-They were good times... we were happy.
I sigh nostalgically.
-Well... Chris... I had to go, it's late...-. She kisses me on the cheek.
-Thanks...-, she tells me and I nod. She leaves the ready room, and I think of everything we got trough, then I abandon myself to memories with her.

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I enter in the canteen, the party has already begun. She is sitting at a table with friends. I stand up and look at her, soon after she notices my presence. She apologizes to his companions, and approaches me.
-Hi lieutenant!
-Hi Grace! I've never seen you here!
We struggle to hear each other because of the volume of the music, so she comes closer to me.
-I told you, I'm very busy.
-Can I get you to drink?
-After you lieutenant!
So we head to the counter.
-What do you want? -, I ask her.
-A smooth Jack, with ice.
I'm surprised. -Are you ... are you sure? Isn't it a little strong?
-I know, it's strange. I am five feet and I weigh fifty-five, but I hold as much as a man of your size. So if you thought you could take me to bed drunk, you'll have to finish your salary.
-Quiet, I'll take you from sober. I didn't think, you're so... sorry...
-Small? It is not an offense! I will probably have a Russian ancestor, because my ability to withstand alcohol I do not explain myself... and I am also a doctor!
I laugh. Meanwhile the bartender arrives.
-Hi Mike! two smooth whiskey with ice!
-Hi Chris! -, he greets me, cheerful as usual. -They rrive immediately! Please be careful with this girl, I saw her drink, and she surprised me... it has an exceptional liver!
I laugh, and she answers: -Mom and Dad's honor!
He offers us glasses. -Here you are! Ok, I'll leave you alone, good evening guys!
I take a sip of my whiskey
- So... -, I ask, -Why they call you Kyd?
-It's a long story, let's say that if I tell it to yourself you'll regret having had even a splinter removed from my finger.
-No regrets, promise!
-Then... anatomy exam, first year... hangover, exam anxiety, a lot of coffe... the professor shows me an image... my level of attention was under my feet so ... I confused the liver for a kidney. From here Kyd.
-Ah... -. I'm surprised. -I imagine the exam did not go well...
-Failure and rush to the place!
We laugh.
-But I finished medicine a year early so... I redeemed myself!
-I believe it!
-Bad luck wants me to find myself a classmate on this ship. So now I'm Kyd for everyone...
-Now for me too!
-You would never try it!
-Count on it! For me you are Kyd. I don't even remember your real name!
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Notes:

This is another chapter... sorry, I know I hadn't posted for few days, but I bar a lot of things to do and I wasn't alle to translate...
Please, vote!

LLAP