1D One Shots + Mini Stories || Volume I ||

#1: The worst secret to keep - {Zianourry}

* Includes:
- Self Violence (Cutting)

Author's P.O.V.

Niall curled into a ball, crying his eyes out. He had been in his room for the past hour, looking through twitter. His mentios and replies to his tweets were full of hate, with an occasional compliment or two. He was already insecure and didn't like himself, and the hate he always was getting only validated everything he ever thought about himself. And even with some compliments, how can you listen to them with so much hate, that you knew was true?

'@NiallOfficial kill yourself' '@NiallOfficial you don't belong in One Direction.' 'You honestly have the worst singing voice i've ever heard @NiallOfficial'  '@NiallOfficial why so ugly?' Along with '#NoNiallIn1D' and '#GetRidOfNiall' being the top trending hashtags, those were just some of the things said to him. As he scrolled through his timeline, worse things were said. More tears were brought to his eyes as he cried harder and harder. Niall couldn't help it. He just wanted to disappear, to give the fans what they wanted. He screamed while sobbing hard, everything hurt so much physically from crying over the things he saw visually, and he couldn't help it. Everything was terrible. He wanted to leave.

Niall hadn't heard the series of running footsteps. He almost fell asleep from his eyes being so droopy and filled with tiredness, from crying hid eyes and heart out.

On the other side of Niall's locked bedroom door, there stood his four bandmates. They heard him scream, and they weren't sure what it was from. When they tried to open the door, they were met with the locked door.

Niall continued to sob as he brought his knees to his chest and his arms over his knees, ducking his head in his arms as he sat on the bed, sulking against the headboard. It hurt to breathe from crying so hard and so much.

The boys on the other side of the door heard a smash of what sounded like a phone. Niall threw it against the wall. It didn't shatter or break, but he threw it. They thought he was mad, They new Niall had a temper, and a bad one at that. He hated for people to see him angry, irritated, or upset, and often locked himself in his room over anger or sadness.

Then, their hearts broke. They shattered. They heard the sobs from their little blonde through the door. Why was Niall crying? How long has it been going on for? Why didn't he or anyone else tell them? They had so many questions, but right now they needed to hold their Irish boyfriend and comfort him. "Zayn, LOCKPICK." Liam and Louis whisper shouted. Niall still didn't know that they were there, all he knew was how worthless he was, crying to himself and calling himself pathetic for doing so.

Niall was compeled to go to the bathroom attached to his bedroom, and grab his blade from under the sink. He had one razor blade that he used for cutting and hid it from the rest of the boys. He was always wearing a long sleeved shirt nowadays so he could cover his cuts, his boyfriends couldn't know. He pulled up his sleeves as he was doubled over on the tile floor, crying and reading his phone. He read the hate tweets as he cut himself, one cut for each tweet. Each mention. Each thing he didn't like about himself.
"Why am i not good enough?" he cried quietly shouting at himself in a whisper, quickly silencing himself so his boyfriends wouldn't hear him. They didn't need to know.

Sliding the blade against his porclain skin again, He winced in pain. But it felt good to get it all out, It felt like he was doing something right, like he was pleasing the fans from hurting himself. Not that they'd know. Quietly, his four boyfriends stood in the bathroom doorway, tears in their eyes. How haven't they noticed? They didn't need so see his face to hear the whimpers or cries he let fall from his lips, or to see the sadness in his eyes as he cut himself.

Niall had his back turned toward the door, slicing his delicate paper skin over and over, reading the tweets, telling himself how worthless, ugly, and terrible he really was. He continued to do so as his breathing hitched with each cut, crying and whimpering in pain. It still felt so good to get it out, but it hurt. And that was good, because if the fans knew he was cutting and hurting himself, they'd be pleased. They'd be happy with him, he thought.

Liam, Louis, Harry, and Zayn made their presences known by clearing their throats. Niall quickly clicked the off button on his phone and threw the blade across the bathroom into the tub. He quickly turned to his boyfriends wiping his tears hastily, and put his right arm behind his back. He had been cutting on his right arm, since he's left handed.

"Niall..." Harry started.
"Babe..." Zayn choked.
"Sweetheart,....." Louis tried.
"Ni,....we saw you..." Liam said, trying not to cry, even though he and the others already were. Niall took his arm from behind his back and put it in front of him slowly. He was ashamed they found out. His arm was covered in his blood, the cuts running deep below his beautiful pale skin. His four boyfriends started to cry worse seeing it fully, and stared into those beloved ocean blue eyes they loved so much. The carefree, golden hearted, beautiful blonde they loved, hated himself. They rushed towards him carefully getting him up affer deciding to get Niall quickly patched up. Zayn, Harry, and Louis held and comforted their blonde and irish boyfriend, as Liam cleaned his cuts.

All of them kissing each cut, between each kiss they proceeded to say the words, "Please. Don't. Ever. Do. This. Again. We. Love. You. So. Much. We're. Here. For. You."

Niall let tears fall, as he fell apart in his boyfriends' arms. Zayn was quick to kiss it away his tears away, although they just kept falling. "Shhh, Ni, it's okay, Love." Zayn shushed as he kissed the lover's nose.

"Niall, you're perfect...you're so beautiful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're so fun, carefree, adorable, cute, sexy, hot, handsome, beautiful, whatever you want to call it, you're all that." Louis started after Niall's breathing had calmed down, Niall cuddling into most of his boyfriends' arms as he sat on the counter with Liam cleaning his cuts.

Zayn piped in, "Yeah, sweetheart, your smile lights up every room, your laugh is music to everyone's ears, your eyes light up with each smile and processs of joy, we love you."

Harry cut in straight away by saying, "Beautiful. Perfect. Even if no one's supposedly perfect you're so much more than what others say. You're so important and valueable, babe."

Liam finished by saying, "Ni, love; you're so amazing. You're saving our lives every day just by being in it, and being you. You have the voice, looks, and personality of an angel, and none of us could ask for a better boyfriend and best friend than you."

Niall smiled for the first time in a long time, and kissed them all on the lips. Smirking, he then asked in a hushed tone, "Movie night...?" And by the sounds of cheers, light laughter, and happiness in the air, he could tell his suggestion was quickly accepted.

He got a lot of love and cuddles from then on, especially that night. And boy, believe me when i say did the boys make it known that they didn't like Niall getting hate or suicide messages.

From then on, Niall eventually stopped cutting and getting a lot of hate, and his bond with all four of his favorite people in the world grew stronger.