DISMANTLED | riverdale

i/

one (i.) || syd sees santa

I turned the corner to get to the bakery and groaned at all the directions. Even on this block Santa was watching me.

Everywhere I went Christmas screamed and jumped out. It just made me more annoyed than mad. I think- I hope that when I get older I can get a handle on it. Maybe I should be trying to get a handle on it now. Start early.

Either way I'm not raging this christmas. Yes I had suffered two losses but I wasn't going to dwell on it too much. Nor was I going to let it fuel any anger I had. My mother left town a few days ago which means it's just me and Grandma. And I have no bad feelings about spending the holidays with her.

I do have bad feelings about not spending it with Harrison though. After my whole speech to him  he still hasn't come around the bakery. He hasn't called or texted me. 

Can we go back to the way things used to be? I just wanna know if I keep fighting for him he's gonna fight for me.

I push the bakery door open and the place is bit more crowded than usual. Everyone has on their festive colors with their bright white smiles. Somehow the sight it giving me a nice warm feeling. At least Riverdale could band together and have a nice holiday season.

Even if there is still a killer on the loose.

I see my grandma serving a couple near the window seat and I walk over to her. I was going to ask her if she needed help but she beat me to it.

"Syd can you head to the back for me I put some tarts in the oven and they need to be taken out." She nods over to the kitchen and shoos me that way.

I drop my bag by the counter and head into the kitchen ready to pull out whatever pastries were in the oven. As I enter the empty kitchen and head over to the oven I see there is nothing in here. Did she not put it in?

I look around for any trays but there aren't any.

Maybe she was-

The supply closet door opens and I think the worst. Not my mother. I know she's gone. But maybe the black hood came to pay his respects. I mean he could find anything I did to be a sin, or my grandma.

Just thinking about it paralyzes me long enough to see who it actually is that's coming out of the supply closet. And it's not the black hood either. Thank the heavens it wasn't the black hood. With is back turned to me I almost smile.

"Harrison?" 

He turns around with a bag of flour and sees me. At first he doesn't say much of anything. No words leave his mouth as he puts the bag down on the counter next to him. 

I don't say anything either.

We both stand there not saying anything until I hear the door open.

"Oh look you're both here. I wonder what would happen if I were to just-" Grandma grabs the door knob and slams the door. I can hear her lock it from the other side. "Work it out. Now."

I didn't move an inch. And he didn't either.

"So, how have you been?" I asked opting out of looking at him. This was going to get awkward really fast if he really didn't want to be friends again. But I mean he's here. There is no way my grandma could trick him into coming here and helping her out.

He wanted to stay. At least some part of him wanted to stay.

"I've-uh-been okay. Not too bad." He tells me and I nod my head with a fake smile on my face. Not what I wanted to hear your asshat. There's a pause between us. "Well I mean walking away from you has been really hard."

I look at him. "So you admit that you do miss me?"

He quickly nods his head.

"So then let's be friends again. I told you I'm not mad at you. I know that they are your family. And I won't come between that." I began to walk over to him but he held out his hands to stop me where I was.

"How are we gonna be friends again? It'd have to be a christmas miracle I won't have the time for you between school and the serpents and my Aunt-" As he brought up his aunt, which I thought we- or he- had under control I cut him off.

"What's going on with your Aunt? I thought she was mysteriously not in Riverdale yet? Is she here?"

"She's the reason I chose the serpents over you. I had to. If she wasn't here I would stretch myself thin trying to be with you and the serpents. But she's up to something and I didn't want you to get hurt because of me."

I-

He didn't want me to get hurt? So he hurt me to protect me?

"Well I think that if you're gonna hurt me to protect me, you should tell me first. And I can handle myself pretty well. I don't need you to protect me if you aren't my friend anymore." I crossed my arms over my chest and stared him down waiting for him to say anything else.

He just looked at me with is hand on his hip.

"I know I was wrong. But I thought if this was the last thing I could do as your friend then I was going to do it. I'm sorry, I would change the way I did it but I wouldn't change the fact that I did it." And even though he said that I still miss him. I'm angry but thats because I care for him. I wouldn't be angry if I didn't.

I have to look away from him again- if I keep looking at him I might end up crying. Crying over a friend that wants to protect me the only way he knows how. By hurting me.

With one last look I met his eyes. "I really don't care. I don't care that you're trying to protect me or hurt me. After my dad, my mom, Cheryl and Jason I really don't care. I'm still gonna want you in my life nothings gonna change that. I haven no doubt in my head about it."

I swear I can see some semblances of a tears beginning to form in his eyes. But he doesn't say anything. He gulps and I can see his adams apple bob. 

My grandma forgot to lock the back door. So instead of staying here with him when he clearly needs to work things out I go through that door. I'll have to go around front again to get upstairs to my room but it doesn't matter.

Maybe Harrison can finally see that he wants me in my life just as much as I want him. And that he shouldn't shut me out.