Lost Kids (a.i.)

eight

I didn't want perfect, I wanted real.

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The four Australians practiced for hours, but I didn't mind. The songs they played were amazing and they were so talented. I was blown away. God was so kind to send them to me.

They finally decided to stop at seven. The four had grown hungry and tired. I made my way out to the back yard, taking my usual place to lie. Slowly the lights switched off until the last one blinks out in the large house. I breath in the fresh cut grass smell. My ears pick up the sound of the back door sliding open. I don't bother opening my eyes and seeing who stands on the back porch.

"Wow, it's so pretty out here." The voice says, astonished at the view over the city. I can recognize the voice as Ashton's. "I can see why you disappear out here every night." He states. I sit up, running a hand through the long waves of hair, as he now has addressed he is talking to me.

"How'd you know I come out here?" I question as I haven't told him, or his fellow mates where I go.

"I thought you knew this place like the back if your hand, Wendy. Remember I have your old blue room, the one that looks over the back yard." He reminds me. It was strange having him stay in my old room. I didn't need it thought, I liked it more outside.

"Well yes, yes it is very beautiful out here." I gawk at the view I see every night.

"So you just sit here in the grass?" He takes a seat text to me, bringing his knees to his chest. The maroon sweater he wears, hugs his arms and torso tightly, while his his black sweatpants hung loosely on his waist.

"Yes, it gives me space to think." I admit confident in my answer.

"You think for hours on end, how can you do that? If I let my thoughts roam my head, I feel like I'm going insane. My thoughts swarm my head, fighting for attention. I-I just ..." Ash starts to get worked up.

"Whoa! Slow down there." I calm him, stroking my slender fingers along his arm.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid. I shouldn't have reacted that way, it was foolish." confesses the hazel eyed boy with dirty blond tussled hair.

"It's okay." I sigh, lying back down on the grass and gazing up at the stars. I glance at Ashton, who is looking at the sky as well. My eyes wonder around his features. When he smiles, which is quiet often, a dimple caves into his cheek. I contour to examine him, until my eyes land on his arm, which lies at his side.

"We match." I mutter, my face frozen.

"What?" He questions, turning to me confused.

"We match." I state again, more clearly this time. My hand grabs his wrist delicately and traces the marks the were clearly old, like mine. He pulls away almost immediately, just like when we met. "Why would you ever do that to yourself?" My green eyes starring into his hazel ones.

"I never admitted to doing it, you did. Now what would you do such a thing? Your live sounds perfect." The Aussie declares.

"It sounds perfect. Have you ever seen The Matrix? I don't really like the movie, but in to they say that humans were driven insane because life was so perfect.with everything being so easy and there never being problems, the humans were confused and crazy. It didn't feel real to them. Although I loved my family and friends very much, I felt trapped in this box of boring and unrealistic stories. I didn't want perfect, I wanted real." My head looks back up to the stars, I recall in The Lion King, Simba says that the stars are of the fallen people. I hope I'm a star in the sky one day.

"But it was just boring? That's all?" He questions, interrupting my thoughts.

"See, people only liked me because I was popular. Without that, I was worthless. No one really cared, they used me. I don't like being used." I explain my dilemma of the years so long ago. The silence builds between us. I had never told anyone about being lost in life before. "So what's your story?"

"Um... Well- uh no one really liked me for who I was. My father left my family when I was little. I felt like it was somehow my fault and I felt worthless. In addition to that, I had to grow up faster so I could take care of my siblings and become the man of my house. Then I found these guys, and everything is okay." He smiles, the dimples caving in. "Did you ever stop before you died?" He asks, a look of hope on his face. I was so sad to disappoint him.

"No I didn't." I stare down at my bare feet sadly."Even worse, I basically uh... Nevermind." Tears welled up in my eyes as I recall my mistakes of the past.

"You can tell me. The others don't have to know, I promise." He swears to his words.

"When I got sick, a few days before I passed they found a cute. I refused it though. I just couldn't take it and I was so stupid to give up everything for myself. Maybe that's why I'm here, because God's mad I gave up this perfect life for my selfish ways!" Anger errors inside me, I under stood what Ashton talked about earlier, how his thoughts swarmed his head. I hated what I had chosen to do three years ago. It was a suicide mission, I took people down with me and now everything's falling apart.

"Look at it this way, without all of that, without you getting lost. I would have never met you and you're pretty great." Ashton now comforts me like I did to him.

"Do you really mean it?" I sniffle.

"I do, really."

{got really deep, sorry it was triggering for some, there will probably be an update Monday because I want to talk about the concert and tell youuuu
If I meet 5sos or not.

QOTD: let's just name a vent in the comments like they had it the story. I'll reply!

Talk to me on twitter tomorrow and I'll talk to you and if I do meet 5sos you will be the first to know.

@super__smash

Or mention lost kids, and I'll retweet. I'm creeping on you guys 👀

Love you, thanks for 150 reads!

Xoxox Sadie Rose.}